When work brings up the idea of having a talent show, I immediately think – I have no talent! I can’t even do the Molly Ringwald (Breakfast Club) hands-free lipstick trick! (and I actually had the nerve to judge how lame that was and NOW look at me, ugh).

So what does that leave? Sing? Not unless you want the neighborhood dogs to as my back-up (maybe the barking Christmas carol dogs are still available). Dance? Um, no. I already am convalescing from a concussion and fractured nose and that happened with me tripping over my own shadow a few weekends ago so I can’t afford more time out of work… I can’t throw my voice nor do I want to stick my hand up some puppet’s butt for a few laughs (and I don’t cook a turkey for the same weird reason)… I am not double jointed (although that always sounded so cool) and I am running out of ideas.

I need suggestions and pronto!