Random coyote makes the blog

coyote

Please pardon the blur, it was taken from behind the screen door whilst trying not to attract attention…

So here is why this random coyote makes the blog today:

A few days ago, I get home from work to walk Chester, chester

you remember this cutie from his own write up on dodging the cartel right? Nine pounds of Mexican fury… ok I digress.. So we start our walk up the street we live on and onto the very busy main street, only to have a white car quickly pull up to me and say not to continue on, there is a coyote in the parking lot ahead, (where the police were apparently trying to push him away from the main road, back into the woods, and away from their delicious donuts)… not long after they drove away, the policeman did drive up to let me know about the coyote and so we started walking in the opposite direction. We didn’t get too far (a short block and three houses down the next street) when the white car zooms up to us again yelling, get in! get in! it is right behind you!! so without even looking I picked up Chester and jumped into this kind stranger’s vehicle. And there the coyote was, about 35 yards away from us. Staring at the meal that got away… yikes! The ladies introduced themselves and they apologized for kidnapping me, for which I reminded them they actually saved us (unless there was more to the jumping into the car that I didn’t know about).

Phone calls were made to the police to alert them that this thing was on the move (in broad daylight) but we were told that because she/he was not acting suspicious or aggressive there was little they could do. Hmph.

The ladies drove me back to the house, I dropped off Chester and made my way to several neighbor’s homes to alert them to take in their dogs. Then proceeded to run out for a quick bite only to have my phone ring that the coyote was now in MY yard!!  Thankfully Chester was in the house, but we are on high alert with every walk around the block we take (because the male/female hawks dive bombing were not enough to keep me on my toes…great).

Death from above and on the ground. I need another set of eyes, maybe some mace or a tranquilizer gun (that’s for me not the animals; situation is totally stressing me out).

Tis better to have loved and lost… I call B.S.

Lord Alfred Tennyson wrote: “Tis better to have loved and lost. Than never to have loved at all…”

I call total B.S. on this. If you do not have the ability to know what you don’t know, in this case, feel what you haven’t felt before, than how can it be as bad as having your heart and soul ripped out, stomped on and then lit on fire? It can’t, plain and simple.

It is very similar to the dolts that say ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’ – it doesn’t buy it, but it is required to obtain it i.e. travel, parties, etc. Only people with money say this because they want the poorer people to feel better about not having any money.

Just like falling in love, those that are still in love wave the Tennyson crap-flag about,to make us brokenhearted dolts feel better. Well it doesn’t so shut up. 

Witness Protection Please

 

This is “Chester” – I had to change his name to protect him from the cartel he was running on the Texas/Mexican boarder. He had just arrived a week before from the mean streets of Texas and staying in the day care system until a foster (temporary witness protection) or an adoption (full blown witness protection).

When the rescue agency tells you that this tiny brown boy not only was the head of the Chihuahua gang on the streets but also again in their day care too, you know he is the real deal. I didn’t make this up!

I haven’t asked about what brought him to New England and why he needed to hide out and he hasn’t offered any hints so I think it best to just ignore it. So far, he loves the area and the people.

It may be a while before he puts his past behind him and stops looking over his shoulder to see if someone recognizes him, but I have assured him, say the word and decorative outfits will be bought to disguise him. He came to the right house; no snitches here. Whatever it was, I think he was framed. 

The price of no vacations

I have not been ‘inspired’ to write anything these last many months as they have been tumultuous and heartbreaking; a fractured nose complete with concussion, the passing of my father (leaving me an orphan), my 9 year relationship dissolved, and facing the holidays for the first time without parents.

It is time to heal, push forward and grasp the limited time I have here – so no more sadness, time for the vacation updates….

It is no surprise to any one who knows me that I love to travel. I am proud to say that I am not a ‘tourist’ but rather a ‘traveler’ blending in with the locals as best I can by researching the area and culture, food and fun. The latest and greatest was a 10-day Christmas extravaGANZA to Paris with Goose.

We had both been to Paris before, me with my parents just out of high school and she with her high school french class, but this trip together was amazing.

 

We did hit the hot spots, Eiffel Tower (where we had our Christmas dinner complete with an out of this world bottle of Champagne! Merry Christmas to us!) Arc d’Triumph, and Notre Dame (where I lost my phone on the bus and had to spend half the afternoon tracking it down and explaining that the case that holds the phone says “don’t touch my phone” could be considered ironic…let’s ask Alanis…)

     

The Louvre was a bit disappointing as it was overcrowded with pushy souvenir sales people. They are hard to ignore and completely take away from the magic that surrounded us. We also walked to the Moulin Rouge – did not attend a performance as there was much more interesting things to do, see, and eat!

           

YUM – Charcuterie at Le Chat Noir – made a meal of it! and dessert oh my!

          

Have to get the selfies in – in front of Sacre Coeur and Notre Dame.      

Simply an amazing trip to add to the collection of travels and adventures we have had together… and always more to come, much more.

So to get to the title of this post – the price of no vacations — it is the stolen memories… the laughs, the adventures, the awkward conversations in broken languages, the bond created during the fantastic experience… this is the price of no vacations because it never happened.

No Alanis, that is NOT what ironic means

To point out the irony of this photo;

it is taped to the white board at work. Yes. Taped. = IRONIC

Which leads me to the Alanis M song Ironic because it just drives me batsh*t there is not one example of irony in the whole damn song. I really like the song…so I have a huge internal struggle every time I listen to it.

**An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day… (not ironic just extremely bad timing and hey, he was ninety-eight for crying out loud!)

**It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay…(this just outright sucks and can be considered alcohol abuse because flies are gross and you have to toss the wine no matter how badly you want to drink it)

**It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late…(there is a theme that runs throughout this song focusing on bad timing and this is just the second of many that points it out)

**It’s like rain on your wedding day… (you may think bad timing, but I will chalk it up to omen)

**It’s a free ride when you have already paid… (again, timing. I want to give it another category, but really I can’t its all timing)

**It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take…(ok, this is clearly not ironic but you didn’t take the advice for many different reasons; first and foremost, you may be thick headed and just stuck to your guns, nothing wrong with having some conviction, Alanis!)

And on and on we go. you know the song… dude waits his whole life to take a trip on an airplane and it crashes (pure bad luck, not ironic), traffic jam when you are already late (theme = bad timing), no-smoking sign on your cigarette break (um, are you too damn lazy to move to another spot? The sign won’t follow you around you know…)

Anyway, my photo shows what ‘ironic’ actually means. It’s not timing or bad luck.

Ironic is having a sign that is taped to a white board that states you are not allowed to tape anything to the white board. THAT is IRONIC Alanis. Fit THAT into your earwig song!

Talent(less) Show

When work brings up the idea of having a talent show, I immediately think – I have no talent! I can’t even do the Molly Ringwald (Breakfast Club) hands-free lipstick trick! (and I actually had the nerve to judge how lame that was and NOW look at me, ugh).

So what does that leave? Sing? Not unless you want the neighborhood dogs to as my back-up (maybe the barking Christmas carol dogs are still available). Dance? Um, no. I already am convalescing from a concussion and fractured nose and that happened with me tripping over my own shadow a few weekends ago so I can’t afford more time out of work… I can’t throw my voice nor do I want to stick my hand up some puppet’s butt for a few laughs (and I don’t cook a turkey for the same weird reason)… I am not double jointed (although that always sounded so cool) and I am running out of ideas.

I need suggestions and pronto!

Tea for Two

My mother (God rest her soul) would break out in song and dance with the slightest, or even no, provocation. She was not Adele and could sing way better than me, she could not remember all the words to most of the songs she sang, and then there was always that ‘make up words as you go along’ to fill in the blank spots…which I think she did on purpose just to annoy me.

But Tea for Two was not just any song; she gave the whole soft-shoe-tap-dance like I was watching a 1920’s vaudevillian show.

Tea for two and two for tea
Me for you, and you for me..alone!

enter the soft-shuffle with full 360 degree turn while wearing a flowered housecoat and slippers. Yes it was quite a sight.

As I would sit there and shake my head at what I was seeing and hearing, she would say, “you will miss my singing when I am gone”. I miss more things about her than I can ever count; her singing is not one of them. Maybe I need more than 5 yrs time to appreciate it.