The amount of articles citing Bostonians as being racist, snarky, and just downright rude, could not be further from the truth. Bostonians, and I lump people from several different parts of New England into this category, are more loyal than any watch dog you could purchase.

Why are we so sarcastic, stoic and snarky upon first meeting? Well, simply put, we don’t know you. You see, there is a bit of a test that we put people through before we can call them a ‘friend’ in the true sense of the word. Not an acquaintance, not someone we just met or a work mate, a true friend, and we don’t use the term often, so when we do; you know we mean it. That is how serious we are about it.

It is a timely procedure, yes, you can equate it to a job interview where you are required to return a few times before you are told you have the job. You will be asked a hundred questions about your past, your relatives, and your high school. You will be made fun of, you will be tortured with relentless jabs and ribbing, you will be reminded of the horrible mistakes that you have made and not let you live them down, and will laugh at you… just like any family member would. And we expect the same in return. After all, if you are not receiving such a ‘roast’ you better run; it’s a clear sign that you are being tolerated but not liked.

We will not give you the ‘no there is nothing wrong with our friendship’ smile, while promptly texting and FB’ing everyone what a d-bag you are. We will not tell you that the awful Member’s Only Jacket is making a huge comeback and you are on the cutting edge. We will not agree with your choice of sport’s team, especially when one of our players turns rat and leaves the team for yours.

We are going to hit you smack in the face with the truth, because although it hurts more for the first few seconds, it won’t follow you around like toilet paper stuck to your heel.

We need to be sure that you are going to stick around, because when times get tough, when the ‘stuff’ hits the proverbial fan, we need to know that you ‘have our backs’ as much as we will have yours.

It is not unlike many families motto; I can make fun of my family all I want, but you say something, and you will get your ass handed to you.

So you see? We are not some heartless, sardonic, people; We have a heart of gold, sprinkled with a little sea salt.