Tea for Two

My mother (God rest her soul) would break out in song and dance with the slightest, or even no, provocation. She was not Adele and could sing way better than me, she could not remember all the words to most of the songs she sang, and then there was always that ‘make up words as you go along’ to fill in the blank spots…which I think she did on purpose just to annoy me.

But Tea for Two was not just any song; she gave the whole soft-shoe-tap-dance like I was watching a 1920’s vaudevillian show.

Tea for two and two for tea
Me for you, and you for me..alone!

enter the soft-shuffle with full 360 degree turn while wearing a flowered housecoat and slippers. Yes it was quite a sight.

As I would sit there and shake my head at what I was seeing and hearing, she would say, “you will miss my singing when I am gone”. I miss more things about her than I can ever count; her singing is not one of them. Maybe I need more than 5 yrs time to appreciate it.

Lollipops and Wise Old Owls

Mr. Owl; how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

It is close to impossible for me to hear the word lollipop and not travel back in time to the 70’s to a commercial where a young boy asks a number of animals this very important question. I wont even describe the short commercial because it loses so much in translation. The answer ultimately becomes 3 and leaves you to believe even further it is not the answer because the owl can’t make it to the end and bites into it. Ok, spoiler alert for those that were too lazy to look it up beforehand.

My favorite flavor of the tootsie pop was cherry but the tootsie roll center was not a complementary pairing. I ended up tossing the center which is too bad because it is pretty tasty on its own.

In need of some Tooth Fairy money but Mother Nature is taking to damn long? Astro Pop to the rescue! Sticky rating: 11 out of 10. No way to save a tooth once this pop made the slightest touch.

A Ring pop is for the little girl who wanted it all; the 12 yr old prince that could afford one and the sugar to keep us running from them and pulling on our ponytail.

The Whistle Pop is the revenge pop to every parent who allowed their child to scream endlessly at the supermarket or restaurant and blankly stare at the rest of us as our ears bleed, for every kick to the back of our chair, for every cut in line at the bathroom because the kid just couldn’t wait… take THAT. A lollipop that blows out your eardrums for a good 30 mins or more, hopefully on a long car ride where the parent cannot escape.

The DumDum, aka the Halloween lollipop . A case of these will cost about a dollar. Treats handed out at a fraction of the cost and yard not toilet papered; dun and dun. Any what is with the ‘mystery’ flavor? Call it berry and stop screwing with us.

 

Which lollipop springs to mind when you hear the word?

Blue eyes becoming extinct!

If you have blue eyes, you better start procreating with others of your kind before it’s too late. According to an article in the NY Times in 2006 (what the hell year is it anyway?), it states from U.S. Census Bureau, that blue eyes have now become increasingly rare among American children.  It goes on to say that due to “immigration patterns, intermarriage, and genetics, all play a part in their steady decline.” The 2002 Loyola U study stated “about half of Americans born at the turn of the 20th century had blue eyes… by mid-century that number had dropped to a third” i.e. as of 2015, only 16.6% of American have blue eyes, and sounds like this number will be dropping rapidly.

See? Statistics don’t lie – jump on that fancy cell phone and start pawing through your little black book, make some booty calls, and explain the devastating future that lies ahead for your kind. That should be a sure fire way to get you a hooked up.

Blue eyes no lie: Goose

An American heritage and genetic line that lost its blue eyes?! Disastrous!!

 

 

Throwing caution into the wind when all I wanted was a damn snack

We now live in a day and age where even without allergies, you can still play Russian Roulette with a simple snack and warning labels are never a good sign.

Very very rarely do I ever actually ‘snack’ and when I do, its typically old school on the stove popcorn in a pan shacking it back and forth so it doesn’t burn… but I digress.

I wanted to change things up one night this week and bought an impulse snack because it was covered in blue cheese and jalapeño flavoring (insert Simpson drool here). Briefly looking at the package it stated no gmo, gluten free, blah blah… whatever… just give me the extra blue cheese and jalapeño, now! I mean please…ahem..

Listed on the bag, above the ingredients in very large print was a word I had not seen before: the Konjac yam. Directly underneath this unknown substance was a strongly worded phrase: Consumption of 6 oz of water per serving is recommended. Huh.

First thought in my head, “how damn hot are these things where water is recommended per serving?” (even though I know never to drink water with extremely spicy foods, you are supposed to drink milk, bread, crackers, etc. to soak up the spice, so relax people, it’s just the first thing I thought of)

So after eating my share of the snack (because my pie-hole love blue cheese and jalapeño without a second thought) I start the internet search for this mysterious ingredient only to find that not only are the side effects in big bold letters consist of BLOCKAGES OF ESOPHAGUS, THROAT OR INTESTINE, but went on to state that due to the health risk of eating this ingredient, it is banned in Canada and Australia.  Yowza!

Less of an importance, yet something that still concerning and should still be addressed was the ‘gastrointestinal distress including diarrhea and flatulence’ side effect (damn it mouth! ok how many of these things did I just eat?).

Glad I wasn’t on a hot date; lack of breathing and diarrhea/flatulence is not the sexiest look for anyone.

Consider this a P.S.A. and now you know.

Daily Post: Snacks

The value of time? Priceless.

There are many things we cannot put a price on; love, trust, time…especially time… The value is priceless – it is just that simple.

goose

My daughter’s laugh; priceless (and contagious)

There is just not enough time for us to have fun together; we always want more.

If I could pay for more time with her, I would surely rob a bank.

just-dirt

finished

close-up

We paint, we plant, we indoor skydive, we vacation, we explore, we adventure…never enough time… value of time is priceless.

Quirky habits are not finger licking good

We all have quirky habits, and typically we don’t even know about them until they are brought to our attention. Case in point: apparently with every bite of food I take, I tap the utensil thrice (not once, not twice… but thrice…you saw that coming right?) before bringing it to my mouth. I was completely oblivious to this fact until my very astute boyfriend brought it to my attention.  I caught myself doing it and realized it was a subconscious effort to keep any droplets or loose food from falling off my utensil while on its way up to my pie hole.

Some may find that endearing while others may want to stab themselves in the eye with a rusty fork; to each his own.

Quirky habit of my boyfriend which I find completely hysterical and endearing at the same time is watching him flip out when he sees someone lick their fingers before separating the plastic grocery bags or better yet when the food prep person licks their fingers to separate the sheets before placing a sandwich on it. He completely loses his mind, looks me straight in the eye and says, ‘why don’t they just spit directly on my food, it’s the same God damn thing’….only this goes on for about 10 minutes as I try to hold back my laughter and sympathize at the same time. He has an excellent point it just doesn’t bother me the same way.

plastic bag

Have a nice day? Not if you lick your fingers before touching my grocery bag!

This post is in response to the prompt of the day:

Quirk of Habit

Which quirky habit annoys you the most, and what quirky habit do you love — in yourself, or others

Indoor Skydiving Anyone??

giselleflyingNever did I think I would step out of my comfort zone for this type of ‘adventure’ but at the same time, I do like to try something new; paradox, right? So time for an Adventures in the Mini segment – bring it on!

toriaflying

What is indoor skydiving? A large indoor vent/fan pushes you upward with I have no idea how many psi. But it must be a whole lot because it can push you 20 or so feet in the air.  

After check in, there is a short class on hand signals from the instructor (chin up, relax, legs straighter or bent) to fly more evenly. They forgot to mention ‘tighten up your core and you shoot straight up’. I learned that very quickly and was close to out of reach with the instructor jumping to bring me to back to ‘controlled’.

At that moment I had a Charlie moment from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Faculty – Charlie moves skyward from swallowing too many bubbles from the new drink. Up I flew and laughed so hard I was drooling… no picture… not that I would post it if I had one.

It is a very similar feeling to skydiving without the 10,000 feet fall (and the prayers to please allow the shoot to open).

I strongly recommend you trying it. I have always wanted to fly and this is the close I will ever get to it.

A post for Adventures in the Mini but also fits the category in the Daily Post: Beyond the Pale: When was the last time you did something completely new and out of your element? How was it? Will you do it again?