All of us screw up; some days more badly than others. So we apologize and ask for forgiveness. But who is the apology really for? It isn’t so much for the person you hurt as much as it is for yourself. You are only acknowledging the screw up to the recipient. You want them to realize that you know you were a jerk and agree with them.
When you apologize, whether it is accepted or not, you have released the burden from your heart.
So really… isn’t an apology just a selfish act? (on top of being a jerk in the first place?!)
Every day is a second chance, but unless you know what you missed or what you should have changed, the second chance will be for naught…so keep your eyes and mind open.
I was well aware of this oversight two days ago. As I was pulling out of the parking lot at the super market, a young lady was standing in the very cold rain (about 38 degrees F) in just a hoodie, tshirt, and jeans, holding a sign asking for money for food. My initial reaction was, – what luck I actually have some change on me this time! As I handed it out the window and apologized that it was only about two dollars in change, she thanked me, and blessed me, but I still had a nagging sensation; an invisible someone giving me the dipshit slap in the back of the head.
It wasn’t until I drove away onto the highway that I realized if I stopped for just a moment to observe the situation as a whole, I could have given her my umbrella (IDIOT!!). I kicked myself the whole way home and it is still eating away at me several days later. There are few things worse than being cold, wet, tired, and hungry all at the same time and I know the feeling, which makes me feel worse.
I was hoping by sharing this incident it would be somewhat cathartic but to no avail and just wishful thinking.
I will just have to believe that ‘every day is a second chance’ and prove to myself that I am a much better person that just handing over change to solve a much more profound request.