Auto-Arachnid Accident

Posted on October 31, 2014 by simplygiselle

The last little goblin shows up at my door and yells the standard ‘trick or treat’…

“Here you go little princess, my last chocolate bar, I am sorry that is all I have. Have a great night!”

Before I have a chance to close the door, two more little monsters dressed as Frankenstein and Dracula show up with the same demand, ‘trick or treat’… yikes, now what? They are not the typical three or four year old and I didn’t have time to shut off my light from the last customer to give them fair warning. I look to the left and then to the right, no sign of parents and sheesh, these kids are almost as tall as me – what to do?!! I politely try to explain the situation and the bad timing but with or without candy, I have a feeling these two have only tricks on their mind this night.

Although not one to scare easily, I wake the next morning to find my pride and joy Mini Coop filled to the brim with spiders of every shape size and species! WHAAA – someone hold me!

I cannot kill them; it is not my place to do so in this world. I don’t think ‘auto-arachnid accident’ is covered under my AAA coverage either (I will have to call and have them consider an additional line item on my policy from this point forward…) all I can do is open the doors and run like a zombie is chasing me… or faster!

This was the only picture I could post without falling into the fetal position for the day…

I would also like to add that when I would come home from trick or treating as a child, dump all the treats from the night’s haul, I would then be subjected to the ‘candy tax’ from both parents as payment for room and board all year 🙂

Trick or Trick – daily prompt

It’s Halloween, and you just ran out of candy. If the neighborhood kids (or anyone else, really) were to truly scare you, what trick would they have to subject you to?

Spooky Salem

Posted on October 30, 2014 by simplygiselle

My daughter and I use to go to Salem, MA every year. It is the mecca for all that are in search of spooky during the October months due to its history relating to the witch trials in the late 1600’s*. The majority of the visit is walking; walking through haunted houses and museums, walking through somber 1600 -1700 graveyards where women and children died so very young, walking through town to see all the vendors sell their wares and jumping headfirst onto the Halloween bandwagon, etc.

The last year that we went, we were walking down a semi-main street as nighttime was falling… checking out the buildings and the fabulously old architecture… when something ahead of us caught our eyes. An older home not well maintained with a farmers porch, a refrigerator stuck in the corner, and a man, a rather LARGE man who could pass for a 6′ football player standing at the bottom of the steps from the porch.

This was no ordinary man; this was Michael Myers come to life! Full-on one piece jumper and perfectly fitting mask. Upon realizing who this large man was, we (what we thought was discreetly at the time) crossed the street and continued to walk toward the house. We were whispering to each other– what do we do? do we keep moving forward? He has seen us! It would be awkward to turn around now… we have to keep moving forward. All the whispering without taking our eyes off him…he stood there watching us. Ever so slowly moving his head… watching us from across the street, walk past the house… and then he started to move, to walk slowly but deliberately, as only Michael Myers would do, down the sidewalk following us…never breaking character, slowly…very slowly following us… the electricity between my daughter and I rose significantly as we tried to keep the scream to ourselves – oh my God he is following us – and quickly picked up our pace. The shrieks were mixed with laughter and many MANY high pitched “oh my God! oh my God! oh my God!” as only two frightened young women can do.

He stopped following us at the end of the street, turned and walked back to the house only to wait for his next victims. Meanwhile, my daughter and I laughed so hard we cried… how that nameless man in his spot-on Michael Myers impression, made our trip to Salem a moment we will never forget.

*Side history lesson: due to changing town lines since the trials, the ‘Salem Village’ where the trials took place is actually present-day Danvers Massachusetts. The current town of Salem is not the original site but is widely accepted as where the witch trials and hangings took place.

Daily Post:

Today you can write about anything, in whatever genre or form, but your post must mention a dark night, your fridge, and tears (of joy or sadness; your call). Feel free to switch one ingredient if you have to (or revisit one from previous trio prompts).

The Middle Finger Zodiac

Posted on October 28, 2014 by simplygiselle

Introducing the new Zodiac sign for those born close to my birthday (October): a hand grasping a glass of wine while simultaneously giving the middle finger. (You will have to imagine as I cannot draw worth a damn, please feel free to submit a picture for me)

These symbols would exemplify who you should be; strong enough not to care what others think about you in order to stay true to yourself (the finger) in order to live life to the fullest (the wine), but be gentle enough not to break things along the way (the glass-plus it needs to hold the wine, of course).

Custom Zodiac: (Daily Post Question)

You’re tasked with creating a brand new astrological sign for the people born around your birthday — based solely on yourself. What would your new sign be, and how would you describe those who share it?

Lady Godiva or Joan of Arc

Posted on October 25, 2014 by simplygiselle

The act of being completely naked in front of strangers; the fear dreams (or call it a nightmare) are made of. When the show Fear Factor was hot (years ago), walking down a small strip of street or just standing for a few minutes naked would have been my failure and losing the money (although meeting Joe Rogan would have been pretty cool).

Now? Well now I have grown into my skin and although I would be most uncomfortable, my inner strength from years past would allow me to not only voluntarily ride horseback through town, as Lady Godiva did, but not cower or try to cover up in the process (you want to take a look, God bless you and I hope you don’t go blind…).

Being naked, for most, is the utmost form of vulnerability; there is nowhere to hide… all of your blemishes, love handles, scars of many lives past are there in the open for all to see and for some admire, while others, only judge. A very difficult feeling to embrace and turn into a strength but I think I am finally there.

How do I compare Lady Godiva to Joan of Arc for my costume? Both were such strong females in their own way, doing what they knew was right… not what was easy. I try very hard to live by this and tell my daughter as well. The right way is typically the harder way. It challenges you to dig deep and make the decision to define who you are as a person– not so much to others, but to yourself.

Two different costumes with the same core message; one wears nothing while the other wears a suit of armor; both take the inner strength, fortitude, and on some level, bravery that I think I can now pull off.

Masks Off – the Daily Post

We’re less than a week away from Halloween! If you had to design a costume that channeled your true, innermost self, what would that costume look like? Would you dare to wear it?

Zombie Apocalypse (What!? It could happen…)

Posted on October 23, 2014 by simplygiselle

Seeing as Trulia, yes the honest-to-goodness real estate website, has put so much time and money into figuring out the first cities the zombies will attack, I thought I would pass along not only their findings, but my insight on the subject for this ten minute prompted writing.

The Huffington Post posted the following with a map:

If and when the zombie apocalypse is nigh, we will all have to make one monumental decision: Where to seek refuge?

When the undead rise up, hitting the beach in zombie-free bliss will not be an option. Honolulu is ranked as the most appetizing city for hungry zombies.

Residents of Honolulu will make easy targets for the walking dead, what with the city’s high walkability and lack of hardware stores (where there are potential zombie-killing weapons). Honolulu also has a high hospital density, making it easy for zombies to find weak victims, and it is extremely congested, with some of the worst traffic in the nation.

New York is number two on the list, followed by Newark, Boston, and Washington D.C.

Trulia calculated the survivability of the cities using the following criteria: highest walk score, lowest hardware store density, highest hospital density, and most congestion.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/21/zombie-apocalypse-trulia_n_6018026.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000022

MY TAKE: Hello Trulia! Zombies can’t swim! The best place to be is on the coast on a raft, boat, etc., tease those brain-eating asshats to walk into the water and presto! They drown before reaching you and shortly thereafter, no more zombies.

I wish to have it known that this idea is now public and mine, all mine! (insert evil laugh here). Those of you that wish to purchase a ticket on my boat, please contact me, there are limited seats, and one small port-o-potty on board. It is your responsibility to make it to the New England shore line, travel not included. Gifts will be accepted and move you to the head of the line regardless of ticket bought. I like red wine and dark European chocolate…why wait until the apocalypse? 😉

This post is in response to the daily prompt:

Daily Prompt: Ready, Set, Done

Our ten-minute free-write is back! Have no mercy on your keyboard as you give us your most unfiltered self (feel free to edit later, or just publish as-is).

Knighted TeddyBear

Posted on October 22, 2014 by simplygiselle

I was surrounded by imaginary friends, well to clarify, all of my stuffed animals were my saviors.

They would not save me just from monsters in my room, in the closet, under the bed, in my dreams, but the tree whose branch would tap on my window throughout the night, the shadows guarding the bathroom during the midnight pee run, or the spiders that would try to find a home in the crack in the wall.

They put up with the obligatory tea party, the trip to the imaginary doctor getting the crayon shot what wouldn’t wash off, and the tears and snot from being tortured by an older brother; all without complaint.

The word ‘friend’ is an understatement; they were my family.

If you know who I can credit for this image, please let me know, it captured my heart.

http://www.deviantart.com/print/681483/ print above is by Begemott (thank you loupmojo)

Daily post question:Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today? (Didn’t have one? write about a non-imaginary friend you haven’t seen since childhood.)

here’s my beef today

Posted on October 9, 2014 by simplygiselle

I think I found the key to the 10-minute free write; read the news first and it will get you fired up with a good topic!

Several communities in the Washington State area have taken it upon themselves to start eliminating swing sets from the schools due to what they are saying is an ‘insurance’ issue. Seems that children are getting hurt on the swings by walking in front/behind while someone is actually swinging. Yes that’s the way it works and for some adult not to take the 30 seconds to explain it to you is where the crime lays.

Removing the swing doesn’t address the issue at hand. The issue at hand is that children are not being taught about consequences; cause and effect. Isn’t that what learning is about? Being shown right from wrong, the idea of learning to cope when your team loses, to get hit and shake it off? Since when do children haphazardly walk in front or behind a person on a swing without understanding they are going to be knocked on their bum or kicked in the head? An escapee toddler on the run, quite possibly, but after that first time accident or even before when first arriving on the playground, why is it not the first thing out of someone’s mouth; the do’s and don’ts? Are we as a society now too busy to teach the children? Too wrapped up on the phone or tablet or whatnot to actually pass down what was taught to us or what we learned along the way?

It is truly a sad state of affairs when swings are being removed and children will no longer feel the rush of the wind through their hair, the fleeting moment of zero gravity, and reaching for the clouds. What is next? No more playing tag because someone tripped on a blade of grass?

Ready, Set, Done

10 minutes. You and your keyboard (or smartphone. Or tablet. Or pen and paper). No pauses, no edits, no looking back: it’s free-write time!

Sparkling wine vs Champagne

Posted on October 8, 2014 by simplygiselle

If I ever meet you at a party or an event of some sort, please do not ask for Champagne when you really mean sparkling white or Prosecco (as well as several other blends/varietals that fall into this category). The grapes that have given their lives for the deliciously light bubbly celebratory libation, only found in the Champagne region of France, have died in vain and makes me cringe (along with a very heavy sigh and quite possibly a forehead slap).

Being judgemental, snobbish,and down right condescending…. Eek, I try so hard not to be… not to throw that stone… for I am FAR from perfect, but mess with my wine and my head starts to spin and pea soup flows quite easily out of my mouthhole.

Case in point (and true story): a dear friend was having a very informal wedding reception at the rod and gun club near her home (I did say ‘informal’ yes? I wasn’t kidding) and I asked if she would like me to bring the wine (guessing that a rod and gun club just might not have the mid-grade grape beverage I am used to). She stated that she had it covered and only wanted me to join in the celebration with no worries.

Without ever attending a rod and gun club, I envisioned it as a VFW hall of sorts. As I arrived and parked in the middle of a field, to find the dilapidated building abutting a mosquito invested pond, I quickly realized my first instinct to bring ‘back up’ wine was appropriate (and even a fleeting moment of – get the hell out of here before you catch Lyme disease or EEE).

Hugging my friend and wishing her all the best on her new-found love, I quickly asked to have a glass of wine and start the festivities only to find the cheapest box of white zinfandel on the card table (picture yourself staring at the box of wine and the sound effects of screeching auto brakes in your head… that was me).

Needless to say, I was not happy, took a deep breath, tried not to sound unappreciative, but I am not a poker player for a reason. I looked her straight in the eyes and reminded her that I offered to bring wine (deadpan). Her look of confusion was almost heartbreaking (almost, she was messing with my wine for Pete’s sake and I was at a broken down rod and gun club – sheesh have mercy for me!)

See that’s me being judgemental and snobbish again. I am working on it, what can I say?

Upturned Noses

Even the most laid back and egalitarian among us can be insufferable snobs when it comes to coffee, music, cars, beer, or any other pet obsession where things have to be just so. What are you snobbish about?