My life is 3-5 business days away…

Posted on September 22, 2015 by simplygiselle

(courtesy of the super nice peeps at clipart)

The back story: I placed an order on August 24 for a shredder (because I am a bit overly sensitive and probably a tad irrational about my personal information being stolen) and the receipt I printed stated “shipping in 3-5 business days”. Sound good, I can live for another week without shredding the last 15 years of bills, silly credit card company invitations that think I can actually afford a black am/ex, contracts, and the like (if it’s made from paper and has my name on it = shredded).

A week went by and no shredder. I called customer service and they stated that the order was showing on the computer to ship within 3 days, I should have it by the end of the week. I did explain that the original receipt stated 3-5 business days but the response was, it was back ordered, to which I replied, maybe that information should have been on the receipt or as I am checking out so that I am aware of the delay.

But I am practicing my patience…let’s give this waiting thing another shot! Days go by and still nothing, zilch, na-da, the big goose egg, ok you get the point. I call back and a new lovely woman in customer service agrees with me and she will escalate to the Special Order Liaison who sent me an email stating 3-5 business days (de ja vu). It was at THAT point, giving it the full 5 business days, that I sent the following:

(Sept. 17) Dear Customer Support:

Although I have sent this email directly to the Special Order Liaison, Mr. XXX, I have not heard back that the email was received nor that the order was cancelled. Therefore, I am sending it to you as another form of cancellation. Please take a moment to read below as to the history of this order and cancel immediately:

Mr. XXX

It is now 17 days since my original order of August 24 and I have STILL not received my product!

This is beyond ridiculous. Your note, directly from YOU below, stated 3-5 business days and we are well outside that timeframe. To state that I have been ‘patient’ would be the understatement of the century.

Please cancel my order immediately and I can say with all the confidence in the world, that I will NEVER buy a product from your company and I will be sure to pass along my experience with OfficeMax to all my friends on social media, family, and work mates.

Good day.

Is this what has become of our customer service expectations? Does this happen to anyone else or just me? And if so, am I the only one losing my mind about it or is there an uprising and my invitation is 3-5 business days away?

So not only did I get blown off by the Special Order Liaison with HIS suggested date, I get blown off with any type of acknowledgement of my email and had to go through the general customer support to get a response the following day.

I realize things get held up, companies get bought out, taken over, and there is turmoil, I get it, I am sympathetic and understanding to it. What I don’t understand is the blatant lying to me. If the product was backordered, no biggie, I would have ordered one in stock and continued to do business with this company, easy-peasy. Now that lines in the sand have been drawn, i.e. being lied to on more than one occasion, not only will I never do business with them, I will be sure to pass along my poor customer service interaction to anyone who will listen (hopefully you are still paying attention…hello??).

Unfortunately this is becoming the norm (or maybe it is just my lovely disposition that brings out the best in companies) as I ordered new glasses, paid 100% up front, was told two weeks max and now well over the two week mark, am being told yet another week before they are ready (sigh?!).

Or how about the birthday present I purchased online with overnight shipping only to find out that overnight shipping is just that, only if the order was placed before noon (again, that information would have been helpful BEFORE I clicked purchase or how about maybe at the checkout area??!!). If you order at 2:00 pm, you pay for the overnight shipping but receive it two days later.

I am a customer with small orders but apparently my money would be welcomed elsewhere; challenge accepted.

50 Ways to Give the Finger: #9 – The Casual Drive-By Finger

Posted on September 1, 2015 by simplygiselle

This is now incorporated into the DMV guidebook in ‘driving etiquette’. The drive-by finger is must, otherwise you will be eaten alive as ‘prey’ and left for road kill.

NOTES FROM THE BATHROOM FLOOR

The Casual Drive-By Finger This variant of the I Don’t Even Have Time For This Finger is best delivered with a wry smile. Here’s your opportunity to incorporate the power of the automobile into a dismissive Fuck You. The finger is held steady from the driver’s side window as you give the horn a couple of soft toots for emphasis.

What the Casual Drive-By Finger communicates to the recipient: I’ve got better places to go and don’t care to spend another moment in the vicinity of your sorry ass. Hope you have a nice day choking on my dust, fucker!

When to use it: Provided you are confident that the recipient is unable to catch you (either because he/she is stuck in traffic or traveling on foot) , and you’re in your car and have a clear path with steady terrain in front of you, the Casual Drive-By Finger is all yours to administer at will…

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Call me Quick Draw McGraw!

Posted on August 23, 2015 by simplygiselle

This is why I don’t own a gun. A decent shot and a short fuse doesn’t mix well and I don’t have the time or money to get bailed out.

It’s nice to see that I haven’t ‘lost it’ as shooting is a perishable skill. The far left was the practice sheet. I was aiming for the head (aim small miss small is what I was thinking). Then I figured why not go for the center mass.

I had never used a hand gun to shoot with so the .45 felt like a small cannon in my hand. The lane distance maxes out at 25 yards which was a bit disappointing but the experience was very cool. Many thanks to F-Troop’s Vanderbilt for his patience and a great idea!

Next time, I am using the Zombie sheet (and not the outline figure as shown above) as I don’t want their rotting flesh and goo to distract me when it’s ‘go time’!

Roadside attraction creepiness: South Dakota

Posted on August 20, 2015 by simplygiselle

This quite possibly could be a minotaur still protecting his labyrinth. If you look closely there are minions protecting him as well… it just made the list of ‘must sees’ to get to the truth!

psychologistmimi

Roadside attraction creepiness: South Dakota

One of the best aspects of cross-country road trips are the signs, billboards and random artifacts you come across. In the United States you can come across a lot of kitsch. There is even a book and now website about roadside America. Thus, whenever I go on a road trip, which is quite frequent, I bring my camera and am ready to snap away. Just last month, I took my 5th cross-country road trip across the US. Instead of I-80 we took I-90 for a change in scenery. And boy it was worth it! South Dakota, in particular, provided me with tons to photograph. I snapped away close to 1000 photos across the 300 odd miles it takes to get across South Dakota.

As we were speeding away (a particularly good part of traveling on I-90 up north) we came across a giant “bull…

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Ambitchous….

Posted on August 18, 2015 by simplygiselle

There is a fine line between a woman ‘standing up for herself’ and being a ‘bitch’. I have yet to find that line but I am sure it exists; more often than not, I get the ‘bitch’ label. For those of you that have said it to my face (on many occasions), you can agree that my response has always been, and will always be: stop kissing up.

I have to say that my super-cranky reaction to a situation is just that; a reaction. I am by no means searching out scenarios in which to wield my highly explosive intolerance for stupidity.

The first (and most repetitive interaction) typically involves me waiting in line and getting cut off, as though I have hit my ‘stealth button’ and instantly became invisible. The millisecond response from me is always an unwaivering, ‘are you kidding me?!” For some reason that seems to startle the offender and wakes them up to the fact that they are no longer on their lonely planet of “I” and must abide by the simple rules of society and it’s strongly recommended guidelines of ‘wait your friggin turn’.

There are times where adults are not pointing out their children’s misbehaving and I have to take things into my own hands. Example: at a college open house for Goose, potential students (17-18 yrs) and their parents are sitting in an amphitheater getting the background on the school and what they offer, finances, etc. and the three young miscreants with their mother were talking loudly and laughing throughout the whole seminar. It was not until the continuously full-blown kicking of my chair, did I spin my head faster than Regan from the Exorcist, and gave my, “are you kidding me??!!” to which the young men horrified, stood up and said they would wait outside. Good call because next comes the pea soup vomit while talking in tongues and no one wants that.

Other times, a good friend needs to have that certain someone on their side, that friend with a bit more bravado then they do. So… while in a Chinese restaurant with my friend (we will call her Shrink because she is one) and her boyfriend were sitting at a crowded bar, I hear a woman complaining to her boyfriend that Shrink is being loud and obnoxious. Really? We are sitting three people away in a packed bar and the only voice you can hear is Shrink laughing and telling stories. Hold the phone and call Oscar Goldman because a new Jaime Sommers is in town! (that’s a late 70’s reference for you kiddos) but I digress. I walked over to her and called her out on it, citing the fact that it’s a loud bar and there is no way she should be calling my friend names without provocation. As she turned to her boyfriend and started to curse about me, I kindly noted that I was not using profanity in any way and name calling wasn’t necessary… just apologize to my friend. The boyfriend stood up (a good 6 inches taller than me) and became aggressive to which I stood my ground and said that he was not part of the conversation, I was talking to his foul mouthed girlfriend. He then called me a bitch (yes I had to say, stop kissing up, it’s a natural reaction) and then he poked me in the shoulder a few times. I nicely reminded him that unwanted poking is considered assault and that seemed to warrant him screaming me a few other choice words but stopped the poking. No better way to show your pea-sized brain than to scream profanities; boring, yawn, over it.

So you see, I have been mislabeled and misunderstood my whole life. I will not be walked on or overlooked. I demand as much space in this world as the big jerks that seem to be taking over.

(P.S. if you know to whom I owe credit for this awesome intro picture please let me know!)

The ‘burbs meet concrete jungle

Posted on August 10, 2015 by simplygiselle

A very interesting combination for its residents; the ‘burbs and its beautiful flowers, shrubbery, terraces, and fresh air meets the concrete jungle of city living – Habitat 67.

Habitat 67 – I had never heard of it until the Goose and I took a last minute road trip in the Mini this weekend to Montréal (her suggestion of course). The World’s Fair, held in Montréal in 1967 prompted a McGill architectural student to conceive this housing complex. Currently, 146 residences sit on a peninsula (of sorts) in the St. Lawrence River, jutting out from the Old Montréal port.

The “last minute unscheduled trip” lives in the world of mystery – waking up in another country after a few hours’ drive is something I don’t think I would ever get used to but would love to do on a weekly basis. We did cram quite a bit of walking, eating, and history into a just a day, but where are all my pictures?!! Looks like I need to go back sooner than later…. (YES!!)

Virgin PaddleBoarder No More!

Posted on August 4, 2015 by simplygiselle

Shortly after this photo was taken, I did stand up (I swear! I have witnesses!).

Paddle boarding is much easier than it looks; especially if you keep to calm waters as I do. I just started a few weeks ago and became instantly addicted. It is like being on your own island all day. Unlike kayaking, I have the ability to stand, kneel, sit or lay down.

I love the serenity, the tranquility, being in the sunshine, the sound of the water slopping underneath the board, the dragonflies landing on the board to take a rest…and a great break from the hustle and bustle of the workplace… my new hour and half of Zen….until the snow flies anyway…

Army Ranger and so much more

Posted on May 25, 2015 by simplygiselle

It is with great displeasure that I write this post. What I wouldn’t give to have my brother back these 30+ years. To see whom he would have married, his children, his choices in life. But instead he chose one of the most unselfish ways to spend his short time here among us, he joined the Army and became an elite Ranger. Consequently he was killed during the second wave in a very small town, on a very small Caribbean island called Grenada, giving coverage to many American medical students forced to return home during a hostile political event.

A devastating time for my parents; to be told you will never see your child again, to never say good bye one last time, to say I Love You one last time. It’s one of those things we take for granted I think, saying I love you, taking for granted you will see or talk to the person tomorrow and remember ‘next time we talk’. Even saying it in passing is great to hear, but not quite the same as if you knew it would be the very last time…the very last time… heart breaking, devastating, it goes beyond that. There is just no word for the amount of empty left behind.

He was just a great person, not because he is no longer here and fond memories can sometimes overshadow the bad times, he was truly one of those people who would go out of his way for you to make sure you were happy, to help if he could, a kind and gentle soul and so very funny. He loved music, was artistic, and put up with his kid sister always tagging along when he just wanted to hang with his friends.

Ah, his friends, they were bountiful and from so many different crowds; neighborhood, school, church, sports, he fit into all the groups with ease because there were so many different levels of him to love. I could go on for pages giving him accolades, and all would be true, but I won’t.

Recently I have been given the opportunity to have him, and his unit, honored for years to come as I have been requested to submit his picture (shown above) to the National Museum, United States Army for a permanent exhibit in their halls. How proud we of him, how much we miss him every day, how I would give anything to change that day and have him back.

#MemorialDay