You are missing from me….

I miss you

I miss you

When I read this post from my friends FB page, it hit me, hit me hard actually. I can’t put a finger on it, but the literal translation from French seems to be so much more accurate when your heart is broken from missing someone…..

I just had to share.

Small, Medium, or Large?

'I see a long ocean voyage in your future....'

Courtesy of Jantoo.com

Goose and I went to see a Medium today. Now, you may have already clicked off because you don’t believe in that sort of thing, but mind you, I am no heretic, I do believe in a God. It just so happens I also believe that when we pass we never really leave this place.

My daughter and I used to watch an awesome show back in the early 90’s; Beakman’s World. If you haven’t seen it-you must-because it rocks. It’s a science show, somewhat like Bill Nye the Science Guy, only 10 x’s cooler and funnier. Beakman is a mad scientist that does experiments, the Rat (dude in a rat suit) and his spunky side kick Josie have one liners fly back and forth while watching experiments. Anyway, one thing that he said that has stuck with me these many years; everything goes somewhere. That is to say everything changes form, it never disappears! You can break down any piece of matter and you will still have something left, whether you can see it or not (think tiny atoms).

That being said, scientifically, when we die we become food for other animals and plants and so goes the circle of life, but what about the energy that comes from within? It must go someplace right?

Well I think so anyway and I also think there are those people that can see/hear them, much like not seeing high frequency waves without the right pair of glasses (put them on and voila, there they are). So certain people have these glasses on all the time while most of us don’t.

So I write this particular blog, not only to share with whoever cares to read how on the mark the medium was today, but to keep this writing as a sort of memento for myself for years to come.

Walking into the room, I was not allowed to say anything nor allowed to agree or disagree with any statements she made throughout the session. She was there simply to relay the conversation from ‘others in the room’ and the symbols they were giving her and the rest was up to me. But this wasn’t the type of – ‘do you have a relative that begins with the letter J’ type of thing, or ‘you will be going on a trip soon’ – no… she was very specific.

The funniest thing is the majority of the conversation right from the moment I sat down was all about my boyfriend’s mum. The medium started talking about a woman, what she looked like, how she acted etc. and then stated specific places; Downtown Boston on the Swan boats, Brighton, Castle Island, Nantaskit Beach, and the Cape. Ok. This has nothing to do with my mum and our family. Growing up, we spend NO time in the Boston area. To me, Boston was some far away land where I needed a passport and an overnight bag. Throughout the years, my boyfriend had described many of his mum’s favorite places (and these were some of them) so I knew she had come to visit.

On the other hand, the medium said stuff specifically about my mum, painting, how much she loved to dance, the stars, cinnamon bread that she used to make, spoons, our trips to Mt. Wachusett with my daughter was at a very young age, watching fireworks from the baseball field… I am sure there is more to hear and maybe she will share it at a later date.

Another thought occurred to me too, the fact that I dream about my mum every night, not in a spooky way, she is there just as she would be in my life on a daily basis, just like she never left, same type of conversations and whatnot. I guess she knew that and wanted to give Mrs. R sometime in the spot light knowing I would share with my boyfriend’s family with hope she could talk to them directly.

I bet my mum will have more to tell me tonight… while I sleep…from the other side of the conversation….

 

How YOU doin’ ?

new glasses for me

Midlife crisis in 3…2…1…which means I have to live to 100, otherwise I am late for my own midlife crisis and I hate being late for anything!

Change jobs, check. Cut off all my hair, check. Circa late 1980 aviator sunglasses, check. Hmm what’s next? Love the Mini, so sports car is out. Suggestions?

Although I am more than likely experiencing a midlife crisis, this is ‘technically’ not an Adventure in the Mini category. Goose and I took the train to a 2-hr harbor ride on a three mast schooner and the weather could not have been more perfect. A relaxing sail though Boston Harbor, meeting new people, sharing many laughs, and enjoying each other’s company was an exceptional way to spend one of the last remaining summer days in New England. The memories will last forever and that is what it is all about. Making memories with the ones you love.

side schooner sailSummer is all about beach, boating, and warmth, but my favorite season is autumn – so only a few more weeks and its off to Salem for some w i c k e d fun!

Army Ranger and so much more

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It is with great displeasure that I write this post. What I wouldn’t give to have my brother back these 30+ years. To see whom he would have married, his children, his choices in life. But instead he chose one of the most unselfish ways to spend his short time here among us, he joined the Army and became an elite Ranger. Consequently he was killed during the second wave in a very small town, on a very small Caribbean island called Grenada, giving coverage to many American medical students forced to return home during a hostile political event.

A devastating time for my parents; to be told you will never see your child again, to never say good bye one last time, to say I Love You one last time. It’s one of those things we take for granted I think, saying I love you, taking for granted you will see or talk to the person tomorrow and remember ‘next time we talk’. Even saying it in passing is great to hear, but not quite the same as if you knew it would be the very last time…the very last time… heart breaking, devastating, it goes beyond that. There is just no word for the amount of empty left behind.

He was just a great person, not because he is no longer here and fond memories can sometimes overshadow the bad times, he was truly one of those people who would go out of his way for you to make sure you were happy, to help if he could, a kind and gentle soul and so very funny. He loved music, was artistic, and put up with his kid sister always tagging along when he just wanted to hang with his friends.

Ah, his friends, they were bountiful and from so many different crowds; neighborhood, school, church, sports, he fit into all the groups with ease because there were so many different levels of him to love. I could go on for pages giving him accolades, and all would be true, but I won’t.

Recently I have been given the opportunity to have him, and his unit, honored for years to come as I have been requested to submit his picture (shown above) to the National Museum, United States Army for a permanent exhibit in their halls. How proud we of him, how much we miss him every day, how I would give anything to change that day and have him back.

#MemorialDay

Indoor Skydiving Anyone??

giselleflyingNever did I think I would step out of my comfort zone for this type of ‘adventure’ but at the same time, I do like to try something new; paradox, right? So time for an Adventures in the Mini segment – bring it on!

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What is indoor skydiving? A large indoor vent/fan pushes you upward with I have no idea how many psi. But it must be a whole lot because it can push you 20 or so feet in the air.  

After check in, there is a short class on hand signals from the instructor (chin up, relax, legs straighter or bent) to fly more evenly. They forgot to mention ‘tighten up your core and you shoot straight up’. I learned that very quickly and was close to out of reach with the instructor jumping to bring me to back to ‘controlled’.

At that moment I had a Charlie moment from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Faculty – Charlie moves skyward from swallowing too many bubbles from the new drink. Up I flew and laughed so hard I was drooling… no picture… not that I would post it if I had one.

It is a very similar feeling to skydiving without the 10,000 feet fall (and the prayers to please allow the shoot to open).

I strongly recommend you trying it. I have always wanted to fly and this is the close I will ever get to it.

A post for Adventures in the Mini but also fits the category in the Daily Post: Beyond the Pale: When was the last time you did something completely new and out of your element? How was it? Will you do it again?

 

A mother’s day to remember

Scrolling through some of my pictures from the past I came up on a wonderful event that Goose surprised me with: a day at the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston (MFA) for Mother’s Day. What’s the big hubbub? Well, the special exhibit they were showing at the time was that of (Dale) Chihuly. With over 200 collections world wide, I was so very lucky to be able to see one of his major travelling exhibitions (thank you from the bottom of my heart Goose! It was awesome!)

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It was another ‘mystery adventure’ only this time the mystery was on me!

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The colors, the forms, the exhibit as a whole was an overload of the senses. Glass blown in all shapes sizes… some that dangled from the ceiling while others were floor to ceiling in height. This particular display (shown above) was actually a small portion of the exhibit which was in the ceiling above us, so I was looking up at these plates of glass-shells of sorts.

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The party hat lemon left all other lemons envious.

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The delicate carvings, while still maintaining the enormous size, cannot be described adequately and must be seen with your own eyes.

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A giant monster from your glass garden awaits to wrap you in its tentacles and eat you alive!

If you ever have the opportunity to see his work, you simply must go. Pictures and words do not do any of it justice. Just say yes, who knows where it will take you!

I am grateful for…

A very intelligent, wise, and overflowing with love individual named Patreeko inspired me to write about what I am grateful for (or at least the short version/part I).

junglelove
Q – Hiding in the jungle

Without putting a concrete order to the list, let’s start with the parents. Without knowing their background, meeting them for the first time you would think they were on top of the world (but one they worked very hard to obtain). Very meager childhoods did not dissuade them from striving to meet their full potential. They enjoyed everything life had to offer. Even when faced with working three jobs to own his own home and put food on the table for a family of six, my father did not give up and could see the bigger picture. A college degree became very important in the working world if you wanted to move on up and even though my mom was a full time housewife, he pushed her toward the same (as they would say, knowledge is something that no one can take from you). He always maintained a beautiful garden, the envy of all the neighborhood. Growing each plant by seedling, they flourished, spread, and brought amazing colors to all who went by.

Graduating with a high honors Bachelor’s degree to teach, was the obvious choice for my mother. She had so much to offer young people that was not offered in school books. Life is not all black and white (I am looking at you Math) but having a deep passion, appreciating, understanding, and acknowledging the utmost importance of music, art, dance, languages, cultures, travel… it is all related and connected to the ‘black and white’ and if you don’t know and understand these pieces to the puzzle of life, than you are not getting the whole picture, and that’s just sad. She was a docent at a very prestigious art museum and would give tours every Sunday. With a very young me in tow, I learned more about the subtleties of color and symbolism in art than any six year old needs. So yes, very grateful for their wisdom, their commonsense, their teaching me (and my daughter) about the bigger things in life and how to push through, focus, understand, analyze, problem solve, and keep it moving, keep it positive, the ‘you got this’ attitude.

Next up, the kid, or Goose as she is known in this blog. Through no fault of her own, she has pushed me to become a better person. One with more patience and understanding (although she may not agree with that statement but it is on-going and always working on it), one that makes me look deeper into my own self to do what is right and not what is easy, to try my best to be a good role model, to be less selfish, to enjoy what life has to offer us, and at many times, make our own fun. She is the bright ball of smiles and laughter you would expect any child to be and even to this day, her naivety is a breath of fresh air in this sullied society. Our time together has been unmatched…all the day trips, international vacations, daily up and downs…I wouldn’t change any of it. She has always had the gift of giving and has found a way to bring her sunshine to those that may not have it. She currently works as a caregiver (while working on her nursing degree) for the elderly and while not all are homebound and alone, she offers companionship and many laughs for them and their family members. Her patients are very lucky to have someone who loves to assist and support them as much as she does, for growing old can be a very lonely and scary process these days. She is simply an amazing person that has so much to offer, on so many levels, to so many people.

I am very grateful for The Q – can’t talk about her and you can’t make me. But she most definitely was my world.

I use the word ‘friend’ sparingly because there are very few people who actually can be honored by it. In today’s world it is overused and tainted. Very few people who will drop everything and be there for you when you need it, no questions asked, no judgement given, and not ‘yes’ you to death but one that will tell the truth for your own good, no matter how much it hurts and want the same in return. I have had the privilege of befriending Brienne (like Brie cheese and then N), “DubaSue” and her dolphin move, one that shall remain anonymous, and Rebecca (aka Beth to her family, she is Rebecca to me). Each one of them has been a part of my life for well over 15 years and although we don’t get to see one another or talk as often as we would like, truth is, I know I could meet up at any given point and carry on as if no time had passed, just a few more gray hairs to count the years since we last met.

To end this ‘Part I’ of sorts I will say, I am very grateful for my health. I thank God every night for my health; mental, physical, and emotional. It does need a little tweaking here and there. I am now in the battle of the bulge mode; maintaining what others may consider to be a ‘normal’ weight but it bugs the heck out of me. If I don’t contain it now, it will only become an issue later one. Being middle aged brings on a plethora of health issues and thus far (knock on wood) I have been blessed with a body that requires little to no maintenance; no medication, no surgeries, no therapy…yes very blessed and it does not go without thanks.

Days go by quickly and it is very important to take the time to remember what we are grateful for, even if it is not a list of things, but merely one or two (this sounds corny but every day I thank the man out loud, that invented indoor plumbing and the hot shower-that guy rocks!).

Look hard, find that thing you are grateful for today, big or small…embrace it and be grateful for it, today and every day.

 

Close your eyes and you are at the beach

I have to start off by saying I am not a big fan of the Cape (Cod) but I do have to acknowledge that I have had some wonderful times there over the last 6 years all thanks to ‘The Man That Puts Up With Me’.

Case in point: my very handsome guy (who puts up with me) owns a boat, and it lends itself to some otherwise non-accessible beach areas which then in turn lends itself to many very relaxing secluded day trips. Picnics, sunbathing, and reflection, are all the agenda holds on those days.

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This picture is taken a few years ago at a point in Chatham called Monomoy (If you are unfamiliar with the area, it is the very tip of the elbow portion of the Cape). This is a naturally created huge sand bar type area that protects the inner harbor and changes with the tides each day and with every storm. So much so that the place where I took these pictures no longer exists. It was a beautiful hilly peninsula extending far into the ocean full of tall ocean grass, piping plovers, and seals (and sometimes, if you are lucky, you can get a glimpse off in the distance of a whale spouting his water). We had been to this spot many times to just beach the boat and watch the seals swim their laps up and down not 10 feet from the short line.

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Several storms have left the area sands drastically shifted and ocean grass now several feet below the water. The seals still find the wet almost muddy areas to take a nap and escape the well-known great white sharks looking for a snack but sitting, reflecting, and relaxing in this spot will have to remain a memory.

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When I said ‘secluded’ I wasn’t kidding. Although almost everyone owns a boat here, there are so many sand bars and so much shore line you will more than likely find your own slice of heaven on any given day.

Come to think of if, you wouldn’t like it here, it’s hot, traffic sucks, overcrowded beaches, the fresh fish is awful, and you don’t want to get sunburned (whew that was a close one! I almost had to share my nirvana…).