Goldie Locks, Get the hell out of my bed!

Who's booze was left behind on the window sill of my hotel room?

Who’s booze was left behind on the window sill of my hotel room?

Words you just don’t want to utter while on a getaway.

Here is the story: I planned a three-day ski getaway using LivingSocial. I had not had any issues with them thus far, but this was my first time using them for a ‘getaway’.

My first mistake: I throughout one of my own most important rules: due extensive online research through several different websites for every possible customer review -a mistake I will never make again.

I am by no means a high maintenance person when it comes to travelling. I am one of those types of people that does not want to spend money on the room when the only time I am there is to sleep. That being said, I do require that I am safe, have electricity and hot water, and the room is clean. Pretty simple really.

I started to question my choice when upon arrival found the parking lot (and pathway leading up to the stairs) was just a thick sheet of ice that had not been sanded or salted.

Entering the lobby my nose refused to do its part; take in oxygen. One small inhale of the mold, mildew and stench would compromise an otherwise healthy ability to smell.

The room itself had the potential to smell just as bad (I wouldn’t no I was still mouth-breathing at this point), the connecting room had a peep hole looking into my room (um….), the lamp had a shade missing (now THAT’s a party!), and the bed and pillows looked like someone just rolled out of it (no I cannot say if the bed was actually still warm, I refused to touch it).

So no. No I will not be staying in your establishment because I require oxygen and a clean environment. I didn’t even bother to ask for another room for it was clear that there were not be a suitable place in all of the building.

We packed up (I was more than happy to relinquish the full prepaid cost of the two night stay) and moved next door to another hotel. One that was clean, allowed me to breath, and I did not have to wake Goldie Locks from her slumber in order to sleep in a bed.

 

You are missing from me….

I miss you

I miss you

When I read this post from my friends FB page, it hit me, hit me hard actually. I can’t put a finger on it, but the literal translation from French seems to be so much more accurate when your heart is broken from missing someone…..

I just had to share.

Mother Mary was in labor for almost a month?

nativitysceneWill someone please tell me why the nativity scenes are now placed at the beginning of the month? I am talking full blown Mary, Joseph, 3 Kings and baby Jesus! And at the churches no less! They are the ones telling us the story, they know the timeline, WTH…I have a meltdown every time I have passed a church this month.

I am not a very religious person, but I do know the story; loosely stated…Mary and Joseph are escaping their land to keep their child safe (excellent parenting skills), no hotels or Motels 6 available in the town they land in, so they settle for a barn and bam (with no pain killers whatsoever), the Baby is born and we now celebrate the event on December 25 (See? Not a month of labor, not a few weeks, it is the plain and simple giving birth deal we still have today).

Growing up in a very Catholic family, we were not allowed to display the crèche too early, and there was NO WAY my mother would have allowed baby Jesus to be placed in the makeshift cradle before the 25th. No.way.

So why all of a sudden have the churches decided to place a full nativity so early? Someone please explain. I still have lots of presents to buy and will inevitably pass several churches. I don’t have time to go to jail because I am being arrested for trespassing in what would look like a crazed Baby-stealing incident only to have every intention to replace him on his actual birth date (and not a moment sooner).

And for that matter, the wise men don’t show up until January 6!!

Make the madness stop PLEASE!

The Ho-Ho-Ho-liday Meltdown

Key West Turkey

Key West Turkey

Thanksgiving = thrown into a cement mixer with larger boulders, add desert dry turkey, brain-dead family members that even a zombie would pass up, set mixer on high, pour, and be instantly ready for Christmas shopping… sound familiar?

My holiday has been quiet thus far; simple dinner with my dad, daughter and her boyfriend, (my hot guy was busy saving the town)…after all it’s about the people you care about not forced family fun (for me anyway).

After this somewhat restful holiday, how could it be that I would sit up in bed as though I had been given a defibrillation? The thought of Christmas shopping had set in. What to buy and who to buy for is as difficult as trigonometry or calculus for me (pretty much adding and subtraction puts me over the edge who am I kidding?!).

  1. Make a list of recipients
  2. Cut out half of those people because, seriously, I feel guilty about not buying them a gift, not because I really like them
  3. Make a list of ‘others’ who won’t receive gifts (and then cut that list down to 12) and mail card with lots of glitter, just to be annoying.

Down to about 5 actual gifts to be wrapped…seemingly doable.

The parent: At this point, dad is just two eyeballs and a hat, looking through a mound of 85 years’ worth of gifts consisting of sweaters, shirts, turtlenecks, ties, socks, slippers, puzzle pieces, and smells like Old Spice. (I happen to love Old Spice so that’s the upside)

The daughter: The last two years I have been successful with tickets to shows (Kathy Griffin = HILARIOUS!) but actually opening a gift is a tough one. Clothes? Jewlery? Shoes? Meh. I keep scouring the ‘net for inspiration.  She is always happy and thankful for the smallest thing, especially spending time together, which is why I like to put every neuron into a good gift. As you have seen we do activities year round, bigger trips a la Canada, St. Martin, and cruises, indoor skydiving, glass blowing, schooner sailing, etc. so coming up with gifts because it’s a holiday is much more difficult-the pressure is on. She asks for a pony at every opportunity, but a pony would be bigger than her car (so no room), take up all the room in the apartment (still no room), and would be forced to live on Ramen noodles and blue cheese pasta (that’s just priming the poor thing for the glue factory).

The hot boyfriend: God help me please. I have tried everything and it’s never right. It is not that he is ungrateful; I know he appreciates my time and effort; it is just a poor choice of gifts on my part. For his birthday last year I purchased an airplane lesson, complete with flying time in this cool little prop plane for two. Although he is quick to show friends the pictures, it took 8 months and lots of nagging to make the reservation, so it loses something in the gift.  A few years ago I bought him an automatic starter for his truck; I returned it because the installation would cause too much interior damage of sorts. Clothes and gift certificates typically don’t get worn or used… he doesn’t have any hobbies… I am at a loss.  And I don’t want any lame-o ideas of a ‘coupon book good for hugs, kisses, date night, or massage by yours truly’….put some effort into it please.

Any and all suggestions from my readers will be paid in gummy bears if you can help me not have a HO-HO-HO-liday meltdown (gummy bears will be paid in virtual thanks only).

What is all this honking about!!

geese— I saw that the geese were on the move again this morning and made me want to post this again because they make me smile….

It has been said that geese honk while in their formation to encourage the lead goose, for it is that one goose that bears the brunt of the work. What work – just flying is work in itself! The point goose is breaking the air surface and thereby spreading the air current outward. Each goose after the point goose has a lesser degree of air surface to break and makes it a bit easier for them to maintain flight. When the lead goose gets tired he falls to the back of the formation and another goose steps up (or flies up at the case may be). That’s what all the honking is about – working as a team, cheering each other on, sharing the work for the better of the group.

There is so much to learn from such a simple gesture. It goes beyond teamwork and beyond encouragement and it is all natural. They ‘get it’. There is nothing selfish or mean spirited in their quest to get from point A to point B. They don’t secretly wish for one of their feathered mates to fall from the sky so they can get a good laugh from it. They are just honestly praising the hard work and perseverance they are experiencing. What a great concept!

For me, listening to the geese is so self-indulgent I almost feel badly; they bring such a smile to my face while they are working so hard to stay aloft. HONK HONK

One of the best kept secrets around

Jade Budda

Jade Buddha visits Massachusetts (pic by me)

You are no longer alone and lost in the world of bureaucracy and red tape. You are no longer in the dark about where to turn for help… because now there is one location with a number of services and information to give you support and direction….

At the beginning of my mother’s illness we were fortunate enough to have a visiting nurse covered by insurance to monitor her health and dispense meds as needed, but there was limited information about where to find other needs our family could have benefited from. My elderly father did wonders with keeping an eye on her early on, but as her disease progressed he could not be tasked with the full-time care she needed and still keep up with laundry, house cleaning, dinners, etc. Even the few hours of attention my daughter and I could offer after school or work was not enough.

At one time or another we will all need assistance or we will need, at minimum, the guidance for where to find that assistance (MassOptions.org) If you don’t need these services you probably know someone who does:

Care Management includes communicating with members, facilitating development and implementing of person-centered care plans, connecting members to services and monitoring the appropriate delivery, quality and effectiveness of services within the care plan
Coordinated Care Programs are programs that address the needs of the brain injured, those with autism, frail elders, and senior care options. It is a package of services designed to meet an individual’s unique needs, to include assistance with care planning and connecting individuals to needed services and resources.
In-Home Support are services available in an individual’s home and community to assist with personal care and other activities such as housekeeping, grocery shopping and meal preparation for individuals 60 and over.
Veteran’s Independence Plus program (VIP) supports veterans of any age that are at risk of nursing home placement and their family caregivers by providing home and community based services to enable them to continue to live in their homes and communities. Eligible veterans receive a comprehensive assessment, develop a service plan, and can purchase goods and services that best meet their needs.
Transition Assistance services are available to individuals who are transitioning or wish to transition from an institutional setting, such as nursing facility, to a community-based setting.
Mental Health services are rehabilitative and therapeutic services designed to meet the mental health needs of individuals, enabling them to live, work and participate in their communities, substance abuse a resource available to provide free and anonymous information and referral for alcohol and other drug abuse problems and related concerns.
Food and Nutrition programs and services promote access to food and proper nutrition through home-delivered meals, nutritional counseling and financial assistance for food shopping for seniors and, women, infant and children.
Protective Services are services and resources aimed at eliminating, reducing and protecting individuals from neglect and from physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse to also include ensuring individuals’ rights to qualified services and quality care for women, children, disabled or the elderly.
Housing options such as shared living environments designed to meet service needs including Congregate Housing, Supportive Housing, Assisting Living and Continuing Care Retirement Communities are available.
Transportation services include accessible and specialized transportation options within a region or community to include Veterans, disabled, and MassHealth members with getting to and from important health-care services such as doctor visits, hospital stays, rehabilitation and therapeutic services, and behavioral health and substance use disorder services… all these services (and more!) can now be found in one location; http://www.Massoptions.org

Not something you need right now? Take a moment and think about if you know someone who does… A neighbor, cousin or co-worker new to the ‘elderly parent needing at-home assistance’ gig, or a ‘disabled neighbor needs personal care or better equipment’, could use desperately use this information (due to lack of advertising its a huge secret). Massachusetts is just one of the states that now offer a ‘one-stop resource information area’ called MassOptions.org (other states may call it No Wrong Door so do a search if you or someone you know is in need of these services).

Finally! Someone in the healthcare organization/government came up with the idea to provide a place in the community where you can go to search for what is available for your specific situation and be given many choices on how to alleviate your stress, get help, and become a stronger family in your time of need.

The website and phone number for consultation is free and most of the organizations that are available to assist with your situation take all levels of insurance.

Please don’t let this continue to be one of the best kept secrets – help me get the word out there that there IS support and assistance for you!! It shouldn’t be so hard in this day and age of technology to find a place to get answers and help.

 

The 7 Wine-Drinking Rules of Middle-Aged Women

Middle-aged women, take comfort that you are not alone. Stop the fibbing and embrace the wine!

Kim Scaravelli | Communication and Voice Strategist | Author, Making Words Work's avatarStuff my dog taught me

imagesIf you lined up all the middle-aged women who drink one 5-ounce glass of wine each day “for health benefits” do you know what you would have? A really long line up of fibbers!

Middle-aged women drink wine like babies breastfeed – often and enthusiastically.

As with most things in Middle-Aged-Woman World, there are rules that must be followed when it comes to the drinking of the wine. These rules are akin to the regulations for tax deductions. If you want to make the most of the situation you need to know both the laws and the various interpretations and exemptions.

If you are new to Middle-Aged Woman World, let me start by saying “Welcome”. And allow me to begin your education by recommending that you have a Women-Only Get-Together to celebrate the birthday, gray hair, or forehead wrinkle that signified your entrance to the group.

At the Women-Only Get-Together…

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Small, Medium, or Large?

'I see a long ocean voyage in your future....'

Courtesy of Jantoo.com

Goose and I went to see a Medium today. Now, you may have already clicked off because you don’t believe in that sort of thing, but mind you, I am no heretic, I do believe in a God. It just so happens I also believe that when we pass we never really leave this place.

My daughter and I used to watch an awesome show back in the early 90’s; Beakman’s World. If you haven’t seen it-you must-because it rocks. It’s a science show, somewhat like Bill Nye the Science Guy, only 10 x’s cooler and funnier. Beakman is a mad scientist that does experiments, the Rat (dude in a rat suit) and his spunky side kick Josie have one liners fly back and forth while watching experiments. Anyway, one thing that he said that has stuck with me these many years; everything goes somewhere. That is to say everything changes form, it never disappears! You can break down any piece of matter and you will still have something left, whether you can see it or not (think tiny atoms).

That being said, scientifically, when we die we become food for other animals and plants and so goes the circle of life, but what about the energy that comes from within? It must go someplace right?

Well I think so anyway and I also think there are those people that can see/hear them, much like not seeing high frequency waves without the right pair of glasses (put them on and voila, there they are). So certain people have these glasses on all the time while most of us don’t.

So I write this particular blog, not only to share with whoever cares to read how on the mark the medium was today, but to keep this writing as a sort of memento for myself for years to come.

Walking into the room, I was not allowed to say anything nor allowed to agree or disagree with any statements she made throughout the session. She was there simply to relay the conversation from ‘others in the room’ and the symbols they were giving her and the rest was up to me. But this wasn’t the type of – ‘do you have a relative that begins with the letter J’ type of thing, or ‘you will be going on a trip soon’ – no… she was very specific.

The funniest thing is the majority of the conversation right from the moment I sat down was all about my boyfriend’s mum. The medium started talking about a woman, what she looked like, how she acted etc. and then stated specific places; Downtown Boston on the Swan boats, Brighton, Castle Island, Nantaskit Beach, and the Cape. Ok. This has nothing to do with my mum and our family. Growing up, we spend NO time in the Boston area. To me, Boston was some far away land where I needed a passport and an overnight bag. Throughout the years, my boyfriend had described many of his mum’s favorite places (and these were some of them) so I knew she had come to visit.

On the other hand, the medium said stuff specifically about my mum, painting, how much she loved to dance, the stars, cinnamon bread that she used to make, spoons, our trips to Mt. Wachusett with my daughter was at a very young age, watching fireworks from the baseball field… I am sure there is more to hear and maybe she will share it at a later date.

Another thought occurred to me too, the fact that I dream about my mum every night, not in a spooky way, she is there just as she would be in my life on a daily basis, just like she never left, same type of conversations and whatnot. I guess she knew that and wanted to give Mrs. R sometime in the spot light knowing I would share with my boyfriend’s family with hope she could talk to them directly.

I bet my mum will have more to tell me tonight… while I sleep…from the other side of the conversation….