The new sea monkeys: Jellyfish

Posted on December 12, 2015 by simplygiselle

jellyfishart.com

No joke. This is actually a real gift. Three live jellyfish and full kit to feed them, air pump, color-changing LED…I must have been living under a rock (or a coral bed) because I have never heard of such a thing.

What happened to the sea monkeys of yesteryear and the cloud of dried krill that would entertain kids for, oh about 15 mins…??

Who is this gift geared toward? The boss who has everything? As if he wants the burden of keeping something alive so he doesn’t offend you. Little kids will just poke the poor innocent bundles of jelly and dead within 24 hrs… so who is buying these and keeping the company in business?

I had to share because I am just completely astounded at the things you can buy online these days.

I am sure many of you are doing Christmas/holiday shopping online… what bizarro items have you seen??

The Ho-Ho-Ho-liday Meltdown

Posted on November 28, 2015 by simplygiselle

Key West Turkey

Thanksgiving = thrown into a cement mixer with larger boulders, add desert dry turkey, brain-dead family members that even a zombie would pass up, set mixer on high, pour, and be instantly ready for Christmas shopping… sound familiar?

My holiday has been quiet thus far; simple dinner with my dad, daughter and her boyfriend, (my hot guy was busy saving the town)…after all it’s about the people you care about not forced family fun (for me anyway).

After this somewhat restful holiday, how could it be that I would sit up in bed as though I had been given a defibrillation? The thought of Christmas shopping had set in. What to buy and who to buy for is as difficult as trigonometry or calculus for me (pretty much adding and subtraction puts me over the edge who am I kidding?!).

Make a list of recipients
Cut out half of those people because, seriously, I feel guilty about not buying them a gift, not because I really like them
Make a list of ‘others’ who won’t receive gifts (and then cut that list down to 12) and mail card with lots of glitter, just to be annoying.

Down to about 5 actual gifts to be wrapped…seemingly doable.

The parent: At this point, dad is just two eyeballs and a hat, looking through a mound of 85 years’ worth of gifts consisting of sweaters, shirts, turtlenecks, ties, socks, slippers, puzzle pieces, and smells like Old Spice. (I happen to love Old Spice so that’s the upside)

The daughter: The last two years I have been successful with tickets to shows (Kathy Griffin = HILARIOUS!) but actually opening a gift is a tough one. Clothes? Jewlery? Shoes? Meh. I keep scouring the ‘net for inspiration. She is always happy and thankful for the smallest thing, especially spending time together, which is why I like to put every neuron into a good gift. As you have seen we do activities year round, bigger trips a la Canada, St. Martin, and cruises, indoor skydiving, glass blowing, schooner sailing, etc. so coming up with gifts because it’s a holiday is much more difficult-the pressure is on. She asks for a pony at every opportunity, but a pony would be bigger than her car (so no room), take up all the room in the apartment (still no room), and would be forced to live on Ramen noodles and blue cheese pasta (that’s just priming the poor thing for the glue factory).

The hot boyfriend: God help me please. I have tried everything and it’s never right. It is not that he is ungrateful; I know he appreciates my time and effort; it is just a poor choice of gifts on my part. For his birthday last year I purchased an airplane lesson, complete with flying time in this cool little prop plane for two. Although he is quick to show friends the pictures, it took 8 months and lots of nagging to make the reservation, so it loses something in the gift. A few years ago I bought him an automatic starter for his truck; I returned it because the installation would cause too much interior damage of sorts. Clothes and gift certificates typically don’t get worn or used… he doesn’t have any hobbies… I am at a loss. And I don’t want any lame-o ideas of a ‘coupon book good for hugs, kisses, date night, or massage by yours truly’….put some effort into it please.

Any and all suggestions from my readers will be paid in gummy bears if you can help me not have a HO-HO-HO-liday meltdown (gummy bears will be paid in virtual thanks only).

What is all this honking about!!

Posted on November 27, 2015 by simplygiselle

geese — I saw that the geese were on the move again this morning and made me want to post this again because they make me smile….

It has been said that geese honk while in their formation to encourage the lead goose, for it is that one goose that bears the brunt of the work. What work – just flying is work in itself! The point goose is breaking the air surface and thereby spreading the air current outward. Each goose after the point goose has a lesser degree of air surface to break and makes it a bit easier for them to maintain flight. When the lead goose gets tired he falls to the back of the formation and another goose steps up (or flies up at the case may be). That’s what all the honking is about – working as a team, cheering each other on, sharing the work for the better of the group.

There is so much to learn from such a simple gesture. It goes beyond teamwork and beyond encouragement and it is all natural. They ‘get it’. There is nothing selfish or mean spirited in their quest to get from point A to point B. They don’t secretly wish for one of their feathered mates to fall from the sky so they can get a good laugh from it. They are just honestly praising the hard work and perseverance they are experiencing. What a great concept!

For me, listening to the geese is so self-indulgent I almost feel badly; they bring such a smile to my face while they are working so hard to stay aloft. HONK HONK

One of the best kept secrets around

Posted on November 21, 2015 by simplygiselle

Jade Buddha visits Massachusetts (pic by me)

You are no longer alone and lost in the world of bureaucracy and red tape. You are no longer in the dark about where to turn for help… because now there is one location with a number of services and information to give you support and direction….

At the beginning of my mother’s illness we were fortunate enough to have a visiting nurse covered by insurance to monitor her health and dispense meds as needed, but there was limited information about where to find other needs our family could have benefited from. My elderly father did wonders with keeping an eye on her early on, but as her disease progressed he could not be tasked with the full-time care she needed and still keep up with laundry, house cleaning, dinners, etc. Even the few hours of attention my daughter and I could offer after school or work was not enough.

At one time or another we will all need assistance or we will need, at minimum, the guidance for where to find that assistance (MassOptions.org) If you don’t need these services you probably know someone who does:

Care Management includes communicating with members, facilitating development and implementing of person-centered care plans, connecting members to services and monitoring the appropriate delivery, quality and effectiveness of services within the care plan
Coordinated Care Programs are programs that address the needs of the brain injured, those with autism, frail elders, and senior care options. It is a package of services designed to meet an individual’s unique needs, to include assistance with care planning and connecting individuals to needed services and resources.
In-Home Support are services available in an individual’s home and community to assist with personal care and other activities such as housekeeping, grocery shopping and meal preparation for individuals 60 and over.
Veteran’s Independence Plus program (VIP) supports veterans of any age that are at risk of nursing home placement and their family caregivers by providing home and community based services to enable them to continue to live in their homes and communities. Eligible veterans receive a comprehensive assessment, develop a service plan, and can purchase goods and services that best meet their needs.
Transition Assistance services are available to individuals who are transitioning or wish to transition from an institutional setting, such as nursing facility, to a community-based setting.
Mental Health services are rehabilitative and therapeutic services designed to meet the mental health needs of individuals, enabling them to live, work and participate in their communities, substance abuse a resource available to provide free and anonymous information and referral for alcohol and other drug abuse problems and related concerns.
Food and Nutrition programs and services promote access to food and proper nutrition through home-delivered meals, nutritional counseling and financial assistance for food shopping for seniors and, women, infant and children.
Protective Services are services and resources aimed at eliminating, reducing and protecting individuals from neglect and from physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse to also include ensuring individuals’ rights to qualified services and quality care for women, children, disabled or the elderly.
Housing options such as shared living environments designed to meet service needs including Congregate Housing, Supportive Housing, Assisting Living and Continuing Care Retirement Communities are available.
Transportation services include accessible and specialized transportation options within a region or community to include Veterans, disabled, and MassHealth members with getting to and from important health-care services such as doctor visits, hospital stays, rehabilitation and therapeutic services, and behavioral health and substance use disorder services… all these services (and more!) can now be found in one location; http://www.Massoptions.org

Not something you need right now? Take a moment and think about if you know someone who does… A neighbor, cousin or co-worker new to the ‘elderly parent needing at-home assistance’ gig, or a ‘disabled neighbor needs personal care or better equipment’, could use desperately use this information (due to lack of advertising its a huge secret). Massachusetts is just one of the states that now offer a ‘one-stop resource information area’ called MassOptions.org (other states may call it No Wrong Door so do a search if you or someone you know is in need of these services).

Finally! Someone in the healthcare organization/government came up with the idea to provide a place in the community where you can go to search for what is available for your specific situation and be given many choices on how to alleviate your stress, get help, and become a stronger family in your time of need.

The website and phone number for consultation is free and most of the organizations that are available to assist with your situation take all levels of insurance.

Please don’t let this continue to be one of the best kept secrets – help me get the word out there that there IS support and assistance for you!! It shouldn’t be so hard in this day and age of technology to find a place to get answers and help.

The 7 Wine-Drinking Rules of Middle-Aged Women

Posted on November 15, 2015 by simplygiselle

Middle-aged women, take comfort that you are not alone. Stop the fibbing and embrace the wine!

Stuff my dog taught me

If you lined up all the middle-aged women who drink one 5-ounce glass of wine each day “for health benefits” do you know what you would have? A really long line up of fibbers!

Middle-aged women drink wine like babies breastfeed – often and enthusiastically.

As with most things in Middle-Aged-Woman World, there are rules that must be followed when it comes to the drinking of the wine. These rules are akin to the regulations for tax deductions. If you want to make the most of the situation you need to know both the laws and the various interpretations and exemptions.

If you are new to Middle-Aged Woman World, let me start by saying “Welcome”. And allow me to begin your education by recommending that you have a Women-Only Get-Together to celebrate the birthday, gray hair, or forehead wrinkle that signified your entrance to the group.

At the Women-Only Get-Together…

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Happy Birthday to Me

Posted on October 24, 2015 by simplygiselle

Quebec City

If you didn’t get the hint by now, I will just be blunt, I love to travel. (gasp!) So when it came down to my birthday this year, I wanted out; out of the country that is. So pack up the SpiceGurl Mini and off to Quebec City for some Maple Sugar Pie and all the poutine my stomach can handle. You haven’t had Maple Sugar Pie OR poutine before?! I am not sure we can be friends. Imagine the most perfect pecan pie, without the pecans just melting in your mouth… not sugary, but sweet, smooth, with a hint of butter…I can’t believe I fit into the Mini for the ride home after these four days….

Although not new to Quebec City, walking for me, is the only way to see everything a city has to offer (or public transportation if the city is just too spread out). As you can see from the photo above, this ‘joker’ jumped out at me in the alley and I had to get a photo. He didn’t seem to mind.

Although the Frontenac Hotel is plush, and if you are able to obtain a room facing the St. Lawrence, the view is indeed beautiful, but I prefer the cozy-homey feel to a small hotel. We had a great room on the main road just inside the ‘wall’ and with an amazing price. Open brick walls, wonderfully comfy bed, super clean, and the ceiling to floor side-by-side double window that open to a small courtyard – that’s for me! (I really wanted to just throw them open and start singing as if I were part of a movie, but the howling dogs would have given me away…)

Shopping is always a must so I bought a cute tunic dress in my favorite boutique found on the very lower level of Quebec. If I lived in the area I would be completely broke, as I love every piece of clothing in the shop and it all fits perfectly!

Lower Quebec City for shopping!

I had to take my hot boyfriend down the funicular because I do not know of too many places where you can have the opportunity to ride a ‘sideward elevator’ as I call it. As you can see this is no joke, its a rapid decent from upper to lower city, but the view is beautiful.

funicular to lower Quebec

Headed out to dinner one evening we found a Halloween scene and I thought this mummy was very creative! (Halloween seems to follow me wherever I go!)

It’s a light post that is covered as a mummy so it is much larger than it looks.

Sadly, I did not get to practice any of my French (sad face) although who knows, I may have spouted an insult and wound up in jail, so just as well.

If you have a chance to visit Quebec City, go…do it! Historical, romantic, food that will wake up even the sleepiest of taste buds, shopping….it has something for everyone.

Honk, Beep, Meep and the Like

Posted on October 7, 2015 by simplygiselle

I am a honking kind of girl; I give my car horn a workout daily. I want to be sure it will be in top condition should an ‘emergency’ ever arise. If I am not supposed to use it, why issue one in every vehicle, right?

Some people frown on honking as it brings attention to them, but really, isn’t that the point?

I give a honk if I am waving you through in front of me and it takes more than three of my hand waves to get your butt in gear. I am trying to be gracious and now you have made my arm ache… go already!

I give a honk if I have to wait more than 8 seconds at a green light and you are hopelessly staring at the light as if expecting a personal invitation be handed to you that it is safe to continue on your mind-numbing journey of life.

If you let me pass in front of you, I give the hand wave of thanks and a quick honk just to be sure you know I recognize your generosity. In these parts, if you don’t give the hand-wave-of-thanks you get the WTF buddy?!! Geeze you are welcome!! And then we take our anger out on the next innocent driver…so do society a solid and just give a quick wave of thanks. Even a half hand wave is acceptable.

If I see geese, turkey, or deer (pretty much any animal) look precariously from the side of the road as if they want to cross to see what is on the other side of the road, they get the honk to warn them to “back up buddy it is not safe, try again later”

Most importantly you will most definitely…without a doubt…get a honk, if, as in this past weekend for example, you are pulling out of the parking garage, stop and park just on the other side of the wooden arm, have everyone in the vehicle get out and change seats (no it was not one of those juvenile fire drills) and then have a discussion at the driver’s door about how the day was. People, there is a line forming behind you and by the looks of it, you are incapable of driving and talking at the same time, otherwise why would you be standing next to the vehicle? HONK!!

And then have the 20-something garage attendant school me on not using my horn because it was not an emergency!!? Oh no you di-int!! Since when does it have to be an emergency to use the horn? He obviously lives in a small town where honking is viewed as a nuisance not the vehicle’s voice. I didn’t give the long foghorn blast, just a quick honk to state; hurry it up ladies we are not getting any younger here and the world does not revolve around YOU.

Are YOU a honk, meep, beep type of person or the recipient of my honking??

My life is 3-5 business days away…

Posted on September 22, 2015 by simplygiselle

(courtesy of the super nice peeps at clipart)

The back story: I placed an order on August 24 for a shredder (because I am a bit overly sensitive and probably a tad irrational about my personal information being stolen) and the receipt I printed stated “shipping in 3-5 business days”. Sound good, I can live for another week without shredding the last 15 years of bills, silly credit card company invitations that think I can actually afford a black am/ex, contracts, and the like (if it’s made from paper and has my name on it = shredded).

A week went by and no shredder. I called customer service and they stated that the order was showing on the computer to ship within 3 days, I should have it by the end of the week. I did explain that the original receipt stated 3-5 business days but the response was, it was back ordered, to which I replied, maybe that information should have been on the receipt or as I am checking out so that I am aware of the delay.

But I am practicing my patience…let’s give this waiting thing another shot! Days go by and still nothing, zilch, na-da, the big goose egg, ok you get the point. I call back and a new lovely woman in customer service agrees with me and she will escalate to the Special Order Liaison who sent me an email stating 3-5 business days (de ja vu). It was at THAT point, giving it the full 5 business days, that I sent the following:

(Sept. 17) Dear Customer Support:

Although I have sent this email directly to the Special Order Liaison, Mr. XXX, I have not heard back that the email was received nor that the order was cancelled. Therefore, I am sending it to you as another form of cancellation. Please take a moment to read below as to the history of this order and cancel immediately:

Mr. XXX

It is now 17 days since my original order of August 24 and I have STILL not received my product!

This is beyond ridiculous. Your note, directly from YOU below, stated 3-5 business days and we are well outside that timeframe. To state that I have been ‘patient’ would be the understatement of the century.

Please cancel my order immediately and I can say with all the confidence in the world, that I will NEVER buy a product from your company and I will be sure to pass along my experience with OfficeMax to all my friends on social media, family, and work mates.

Good day.

Is this what has become of our customer service expectations? Does this happen to anyone else or just me? And if so, am I the only one losing my mind about it or is there an uprising and my invitation is 3-5 business days away?

So not only did I get blown off by the Special Order Liaison with HIS suggested date, I get blown off with any type of acknowledgement of my email and had to go through the general customer support to get a response the following day.

I realize things get held up, companies get bought out, taken over, and there is turmoil, I get it, I am sympathetic and understanding to it. What I don’t understand is the blatant lying to me. If the product was backordered, no biggie, I would have ordered one in stock and continued to do business with this company, easy-peasy. Now that lines in the sand have been drawn, i.e. being lied to on more than one occasion, not only will I never do business with them, I will be sure to pass along my poor customer service interaction to anyone who will listen (hopefully you are still paying attention…hello??).

Unfortunately this is becoming the norm (or maybe it is just my lovely disposition that brings out the best in companies) as I ordered new glasses, paid 100% up front, was told two weeks max and now well over the two week mark, am being told yet another week before they are ready (sigh?!).

Or how about the birthday present I purchased online with overnight shipping only to find out that overnight shipping is just that, only if the order was placed before noon (again, that information would have been helpful BEFORE I clicked purchase or how about maybe at the checkout area??!!). If you order at 2:00 pm, you pay for the overnight shipping but receive it two days later.

I am a customer with small orders but apparently my money would be welcomed elsewhere; challenge accepted.