Free the Mead

Posted on July 10, 2016 by simplygiselle

meadery bottle

Goose and I went to a wine tasting today and we both fell in love with Mead.

Now, if you are a virgin to mead as she and I were, you may be asking yourself, what the hell is mead? So let me give you the quick version: it is fermented honey and water and many times fruit or spices will be added for different tastes. It doesn’t actually taste like honey at all really, at least I did not get any of that sweet very distinctive flavor.

Mead is known to be the world’s oldest alcohol libation as far back as 3000 BC (as stated in a few articles).

1634 Meadery in Ipswich MA had several flavors but the one I enjoyed most had the raspberries infused. The women representing the company were top notched; knowledgeable and friendly (I most definitely cannot say that about all the companies represented!)

So now Goose and I have to make another road trip to Ipswich; for more fried clams, the wolf sanctuary, and a tour/tasting of their other flavors. This will be an all day event I am sure! Because, really…. who doesn’t want to be a Viking for a little while.

meadry viking

Throwing caution into the wind when all I wanted was a damn snack

Posted on July 8, 2016 by simplygiselle

We now live in a day and age where even without allergies, you can still play Russian Roulette with a simple snack and warning labels are never a good sign.

Very very rarely do I ever actually ‘snack’ and when I do, its typically old school on the stove popcorn in a pan shacking it back and forth so it doesn’t burn… but I digress.

I wanted to change things up one night this week and bought an impulse snack because it was covered in blue cheese and jalapeño flavoring (insert Simpson drool here). Briefly looking at the package it stated no gmo, gluten free, blah blah… whatever… just give me the extra blue cheese and jalapeño, now! I mean please…ahem..

Listed on the bag, above the ingredients in very large print was a word I had not seen before: the Konjac yam. Directly underneath this unknown substance was a strongly worded phrase: Consumption of 6 oz of water per serving is recommended. Huh.

First thought in my head, “how damn hot are these things where water is recommended per serving?” (even though I know never to drink water with extremely spicy foods, you are supposed to drink milk, bread, crackers, etc. to soak up the spice, so relax people, it’s just the first thing I thought of)

So after eating my share of the snack (because my pie-hole love blue cheese and jalapeño without a second thought) I start the internet search for this mysterious ingredient only to find that not only are the side effects in big bold letters consist of BLOCKAGES OF ESOPHAGUS, THROAT OR INTESTINE, but went on to state that due to the health risk of eating this ingredient, it is banned in Canada and Australia. Yowza!

Less of an importance, yet something that still concerning and should still be addressed was the ‘gastrointestinal distress including diarrhea and flatulence’ side effect (damn it mouth! ok how many of these things did I just eat?).

Glad I wasn’t on a hot date; lack of breathing and diarrhea/flatulence is not the sexiest look for anyone.

Consider this a P.S.A. and now you know.

In hot pursuit of failure….

Posted on May 14, 2016 by simplygiselle

ohm

“If you are not failing, you are probably not trying as hard as you should be” – George Church

A simple concept brought to a new level and makes me kick myself for not thinking it first. This isn’t your run of the mill daily failure – this is the – kicking ass and trying thousands of different ways to achieve your goal, knowing deep down in your mind and heart that it will work, it will.

I read this great article about George Church, Ph.D., with whom I had never heard of before because I do not run in those circles, but was just inspired (and a bit jealous) of the life he has lived to this point. The ups and downs, the so-called ‘breaks’ he thinks he has been given, the passion for science and discovery….

If you have five minutes I strongly recommend this read, if just for the glimpse of what life has to offer every single one of us, just keep pursuing it, for it is the successes and more importantly the failures, that push us to greatness.

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2016/05/if-youre-not-failing-youre-probably-not-trying-as-hard-as-you-could-be/

“I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

Mothers come in all shapes, sizes, and species

Posted on May 8, 2016 by simplygiselle

Come near my babies and get bitten! Try me you little brat! Where the hell are YOUR parents!?

Another adventurous outing for Goose and me – to the Zoo! Not just any zoo mind you, the one we would visit year after year when she was growing up (by now we should get a freebie); Roger Williams Zoo in Providence RI.

Whenever we get together we narrate the situation between us and then laugh our butts off.

I am waiting for my audience

It’s about time humans! NOW I can show off!

We have always loved it there for it size, variety of species from around the world, cleanliness, and allowing families and children of all backgrounds to visit by keeping the price very affordable.

In the past the zoo seemed to grow just a little every year adding more exhibits and upgrading those that were already there. The petting zoo is now a walk-in type where children can pet, feed and groom the mini goats. Walk through Africa, South America, and different parts of Asia. We even took advantage of the few volunteer booths that informed us of elephant poop, their teeth and how they grow and the anteater’s claws and snout – sometimes the little things are so interesting!

I have to be honest, we originally went to the booth because the women behind the tables were alone and looked as though they thought no one was interested in what they had to say. Well, we made sure to bring them some ‘business’ staying and asking questions until other visitors saw there was something going on, and well, our job was done.

Flossing time

What the hell is grass doing in the air??

FEED ME

Always an adventure, always a great time, always enjoying our time together as mother/daughter, best friends, and partners-in-crime.

Carnage

Posted on April 2, 2016 by simplygiselle

Squirrel Feeder

Standing in line at the popular home DIY store holding onto my first birdfeeder, food, and pole when the smartey pants 80 year old behind me says, “buying a squirrel feeder eh?”… (ha ha everyone is a comedian…) holding back what was actually going through my mind (who the hell is talking to you?!!), I said, ‘I will feed anyone willing to visit’ (Such a diplomat right?).

I expected the squirrels to B&E the feeder, but I have a feeling that after seeing them throughout the day eat only what was dropped, this must be the doing from the ‘masked bandit’ (fat bastard!)

So now I am left with a huge bag of feed, a broken feeder, and the question of how to take reservations for the breakfast/lunch/dinner rush from birds only. Saying that out loud makes me feel like I discriminate and honestly I just want everyone to share and everyone to get along.

I don’t mind feeding all the wildlife that walks through the yard (yes even skunks), but thinking that the next door neighbor is rocking 5 birdfeeders maybe I should just stick to my water bar (which is sometimes used as a bath, I find it a bit gross to drink your own bath water but, hey, I am not a bird).

Goldie Locks, Get the hell out of my bed!

Posted on January 14, 2016 by simplygiselle

Who’s booze was left behind on the window sill of my hotel room?

Words you just don’t want to utter while on a getaway.

Here is the story: I planned a three-day ski getaway using LivingSocial. I had not had any issues with them thus far, but this was my first time using them for a ‘getaway’.

My first mistake: I throughout one of my own most important rules: due extensive online research through several different websites for every possible customer review -a mistake I will never make again.

I am by no means a high maintenance person when it comes to travelling. I am one of those types of people that does not want to spend money on the room when the only time I am there is to sleep. That being said, I do require that I am safe, have electricity and hot water, and the room is clean. Pretty simple really.

I started to question my choice when upon arrival found the parking lot (and pathway leading up to the stairs) was just a thick sheet of ice that had not been sanded or salted.

Entering the lobby my nose refused to do its part; take in oxygen. One small inhale of the mold, mildew and stench would compromise an otherwise healthy ability to smell.

The room itself had the potential to smell just as bad (I wouldn’t no I was still mouth-breathing at this point), the connecting room had a peep hole looking into my room (um….), the lamp had a shade missing (now THAT’s a party!), and the bed and pillows looked like someone just rolled out of it (no I cannot say if the bed was actually still warm, I refused to touch it).

So no. No I will not be staying in your establishment because I require oxygen and a clean environment. I didn’t even bother to ask for another room for it was clear that there were not be a suitable place in all of the building.

We packed up (I was more than happy to relinquish the full prepaid cost of the two night stay) and moved next door to another hotel. One that was clean, allowed me to breath, and I did not have to wake Goldie Locks from her slumber in order to sleep in a bed.

The new sea monkeys: Jellyfish

Posted on December 12, 2015 by simplygiselle

jellyfishart.com

No joke. This is actually a real gift. Three live jellyfish and full kit to feed them, air pump, color-changing LED…I must have been living under a rock (or a coral bed) because I have never heard of such a thing.

What happened to the sea monkeys of yesteryear and the cloud of dried krill that would entertain kids for, oh about 15 mins…??

Who is this gift geared toward? The boss who has everything? As if he wants the burden of keeping something alive so he doesn’t offend you. Little kids will just poke the poor innocent bundles of jelly and dead within 24 hrs… so who is buying these and keeping the company in business?

I had to share because I am just completely astounded at the things you can buy online these days.

I am sure many of you are doing Christmas/holiday shopping online… what bizarro items have you seen??

The 7 Wine-Drinking Rules of Middle-Aged Women

Posted on November 15, 2015 by simplygiselle

Middle-aged women, take comfort that you are not alone. Stop the fibbing and embrace the wine!

Stuff my dog taught me

If you lined up all the middle-aged women who drink one 5-ounce glass of wine each day “for health benefits” do you know what you would have? A really long line up of fibbers!

Middle-aged women drink wine like babies breastfeed – often and enthusiastically.

As with most things in Middle-Aged-Woman World, there are rules that must be followed when it comes to the drinking of the wine. These rules are akin to the regulations for tax deductions. If you want to make the most of the situation you need to know both the laws and the various interpretations and exemptions.

If you are new to Middle-Aged Woman World, let me start by saying “Welcome”. And allow me to begin your education by recommending that you have a Women-Only Get-Together to celebrate the birthday, gray hair, or forehead wrinkle that signified your entrance to the group.

At the Women-Only Get-Together…

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