Throwing caution into the wind when all I wanted was a damn snack

We now live in a day and age where even without allergies, you can still play Russian Roulette with a simple snack and warning labels are never a good sign.

Very very rarely do I ever actually ‘snack’ and when I do, its typically old school on the stove popcorn in a pan shacking it back and forth so it doesn’t burn… but I digress.

I wanted to change things up one night this week and bought an impulse snack because it was covered in blue cheese and jalapeño flavoring (insert Simpson drool here). Briefly looking at the package it stated no gmo, gluten free, blah blah… whatever… just give me the extra blue cheese and jalapeño, now! I mean please…ahem..

Listed on the bag, above the ingredients in very large print was a word I had not seen before: the Konjac yam. Directly underneath this unknown substance was a strongly worded phrase: Consumption of 6 oz of water per serving is recommended. Huh.

First thought in my head, “how damn hot are these things where water is recommended per serving?” (even though I know never to drink water with extremely spicy foods, you are supposed to drink milk, bread, crackers, etc. to soak up the spice, so relax people, it’s just the first thing I thought of)

So after eating my share of the snack (because my pie-hole love blue cheese and jalapeño without a second thought) I start the internet search for this mysterious ingredient only to find that not only are the side effects in big bold letters consist of BLOCKAGES OF ESOPHAGUS, THROAT OR INTESTINE, but went on to state that due to the health risk of eating this ingredient, it is banned in Canada and Australia.  Yowza!

Less of an importance, yet something that still concerning and should still be addressed was the ‘gastrointestinal distress including diarrhea and flatulence’ side effect (damn it mouth! ok how many of these things did I just eat?).

Glad I wasn’t on a hot date; lack of breathing and diarrhea/flatulence is not the sexiest look for anyone.

Consider this a P.S.A. and now you know.

Daily Post: Snacks

Throwing caution into the wind when all I wanted was a damn snack

We now live in a day and age where even without allergies, you can still play Russian Roulette with a simple snack and warning labels are never a good sign.

Very very rarely do I ever actually ‘snack’ and when I do, its typically old school on the stove popcorn in a pan shacking it back and forth so it doesn’t burn… but I digress.

I wanted to change things up one night this week and bought an impulse snack because it was covered in blue cheese and jalapeño flavoring (insert Simpson drool here). Briefly looking at the package it stated no gmo, gluten free, blah blah… whatever… just give me the extra blue cheese and jalapeño, now! I mean please…ahem..

Listed on the bag, above the ingredients in very large print was a word I had not seen before: the Konjac yam. Directly underneath this unknown substance was a strongly worded phrase: Consumption of 6 oz of water per serving is recommended. Huh.

First thought in my head, “how damn hot are these things where water is recommended per serving?” (even though I know never to drink water with extremely spicy foods, you are supposed to drink milk, bread, crackers, etc. to soak up the spice, so relax people, it’s just the first thing I thought of)

So after eating my share of the snack (because my pie-hole love blue cheese and jalapeño without a second thought) I start the internet search for this mysterious ingredient only to find that not only are the side effects in big bold letters consist of BLOCKAGES OF ESOPHAGUS, THROAT OR INTESTINE, but went on to state that due to the health risk of eating this ingredient, it is banned in Canada and Australia.  Yowza!

Less of an importance, yet something that still concerning and should still be addressed was the ‘gastrointestinal distress including diarrhea and flatulence’ side effect (damn it mouth! ok how many of these things did I just eat?).

Glad I wasn’t on a hot date; lack of breathing and diarrhea/flatulence is not the sexiest look for anyone.

Consider this a P.S.A. and now you know.

Food Porn (?)

Food Porn (that's what the kids call it, rights?)

Food Porn (that’s what the kids call it, right?)

Without knowing the actual definition of ‘food porn’ I will take a stab and say it is when we see food that is so orgasmic we drool just by looking at it in a very Homer-Simpson-drooling sort of way.

Several years ago I made my first trip to Montreal with Goose by my side and sitting at an outdoor café, I ordered what sounded so delicious I wonder why it isn’t more popular…

French-fries (yes please and keep them coming), braised short ribs (melt in your mouth with the perfect seasoning), drizzled in the short rib gravy and topped with curds. Yes the Little Miss Muffet curds sans whey. *Side note: curds are a by-product when producing cheese. This blog is so educational, right?!

For the rest of my trip, and every time I go to Montreal or Quebec City, I have daily poutine intake.

This has put me on a quest to find a similarly fantastic tasting poutine in the States. When it is on the menu I order it to see how close they get. Typically I find they are drowning in gravy and lacking the meat or they use a very bland curd.

Now although this picture does not relate to a visual food porn, you have to believe me when I say, it tasted that good. Even more surprisingly I found it at a chain restaurant! Now let’s not get crazy, it wasn’t nearly as good as what I find in Canada but it was close.

And the search shall continue!

Tiramisu to you too

Embrace the Ick – hands down, tiramisu (and flan is a close second).

This is clearly one of those, “it’s not the flavor it’s a texture thing” for me. I couldn’t even tell you what it tastes like, it only lasted a millisecond in my mouth before getting violently spit out (into my napkin of course, I am a lady after all).

The wet-bread texture on my tongue causes such shivers up and down my spine it can be viewed as a seizure of sorts. Give me a fresh shucked clam any day of the week over the most spot on tiramisu created from the best chef in the world.

I also don’t let tomatoes sit on my sandwich for more than an instant. I know that damn tomato jelly substance is trying like hell to get soaked up in my bread; not today tomato, not today.