Throwing caution into the wind when all I wanted was a damn snack

Posted on July 8, 2016 by simplygiselle

We now live in a day and age where even without allergies, you can still play Russian Roulette with a simple snack and warning labels are never a good sign.

Very very rarely do I ever actually ‘snack’ and when I do, its typically old school on the stove popcorn in a pan shacking it back and forth so it doesn’t burn… but I digress.

I wanted to change things up one night this week and bought an impulse snack because it was covered in blue cheese and jalapeño flavoring (insert Simpson drool here). Briefly looking at the package it stated no gmo, gluten free, blah blah… whatever… just give me the extra blue cheese and jalapeño, now! I mean please…ahem..

Listed on the bag, above the ingredients in very large print was a word I had not seen before: the Konjac yam. Directly underneath this unknown substance was a strongly worded phrase: Consumption of 6 oz of water per serving is recommended. Huh.

First thought in my head, “how damn hot are these things where water is recommended per serving?” (even though I know never to drink water with extremely spicy foods, you are supposed to drink milk, bread, crackers, etc. to soak up the spice, so relax people, it’s just the first thing I thought of)

So after eating my share of the snack (because my pie-hole love blue cheese and jalapeño without a second thought) I start the internet search for this mysterious ingredient only to find that not only are the side effects in big bold letters consist of BLOCKAGES OF ESOPHAGUS, THROAT OR INTESTINE, but went on to state that due to the health risk of eating this ingredient, it is banned in Canada and Australia. Yowza!

Less of an importance, yet something that still concerning and should still be addressed was the ‘gastrointestinal distress including diarrhea and flatulence’ side effect (damn it mouth! ok how many of these things did I just eat?).

Glad I wasn’t on a hot date; lack of breathing and diarrhea/flatulence is not the sexiest look for anyone.

Consider this a P.S.A. and now you know.

Chess anyone?

Posted on July 8, 2016 by simplygiselle

chess

What do students do in between classes that would make the average person’s brain melt? Why play an excruciating game of chess of course!

These pieces are about hip high when you stand next to them. There has yet to be a day when I walk by this board just outside the ‘yahd’ where I do not find several students challenging one another.

Naturally, I am the lazy brain taking the photo and not engaged in the battle for the queen.

(Side note: how interesting that unlike other cities, these pieces have not been stolen nor has the board been ‘tagged’ in any way! Gives me small hope for civilization in the states….)

Mothers come in all shapes, sizes, and species

Posted on May 8, 2016 by simplygiselle

Come near my babies and get bitten! Try me you little brat! Where the hell are YOUR parents!?

Another adventurous outing for Goose and me – to the Zoo! Not just any zoo mind you, the one we would visit year after year when she was growing up (by now we should get a freebie); Roger Williams Zoo in Providence RI.

Whenever we get together we narrate the situation between us and then laugh our butts off.

I am waiting for my audience

It’s about time humans! NOW I can show off!

We have always loved it there for it size, variety of species from around the world, cleanliness, and allowing families and children of all backgrounds to visit by keeping the price very affordable.

In the past the zoo seemed to grow just a little every year adding more exhibits and upgrading those that were already there. The petting zoo is now a walk-in type where children can pet, feed and groom the mini goats. Walk through Africa, South America, and different parts of Asia. We even took advantage of the few volunteer booths that informed us of elephant poop, their teeth and how they grow and the anteater’s claws and snout – sometimes the little things are so interesting!

I have to be honest, we originally went to the booth because the women behind the tables were alone and looked as though they thought no one was interested in what they had to say. Well, we made sure to bring them some ‘business’ staying and asking questions until other visitors saw there was something going on, and well, our job was done.

Flossing time

What the hell is grass doing in the air??

FEED ME

Always an adventure, always a great time, always enjoying our time together as mother/daughter, best friends, and partners-in-crime.

It’s All About the Latitude

Posted on April 18, 2016 by simplygiselle

All About Latitude

It occurred to us on this particular trip that we may travel to Montreal more than we think, as the border guard asked, “are you bringing any gifts to family members?” (we had never been asked that one before…). That being said, this was the first time we had the chance to stop and take the latitude photo.

It never ceases to amaze me that the midpoint between the North Pole and equator was only a mile outside the Canadian border. Good thing this is was not a question on a game show for a million dollars, I would have easily said someplace around Virginia (currently breaking out the map…) I mean come on, I cannot be the only person that is surprised by this information (help me out dear readers!)

The actual mission of this trip had two motives: two days of rest and relaxation and to find and devour at least two of the the 30 flavors of poutine at La Banquise – both were completed I am very happy to say.

We are poutine obsessed and proud of it. With fierce determination, we walked the 45 minutes and with rationalizing the calories that we had burned off, we ordered drinks too (we were parched don’t judge..)

So many poutine combinations…. so little time…. we will be back… sooner than later…

Carnage

Posted on April 2, 2016 by simplygiselle

Squirrel Feeder

Standing in line at the popular home DIY store holding onto my first birdfeeder, food, and pole when the smartey pants 80 year old behind me says, “buying a squirrel feeder eh?”… (ha ha everyone is a comedian…) holding back what was actually going through my mind (who the hell is talking to you?!!), I said, ‘I will feed anyone willing to visit’ (Such a diplomat right?).

I expected the squirrels to B&E the feeder, but I have a feeling that after seeing them throughout the day eat only what was dropped, this must be the doing from the ‘masked bandit’ (fat bastard!)

So now I am left with a huge bag of feed, a broken feeder, and the question of how to take reservations for the breakfast/lunch/dinner rush from birds only. Saying that out loud makes me feel like I discriminate and honestly I just want everyone to share and everyone to get along.

I don’t mind feeding all the wildlife that walks through the yard (yes even skunks), but thinking that the next door neighbor is rocking 5 birdfeeders maybe I should just stick to my water bar (which is sometimes used as a bath, I find it a bit gross to drink your own bath water but, hey, I am not a bird).

Quirky habits are not finger licking good

Posted on February 18, 2016 by simplygiselle

We all have quirky habits, and typically we don’t even know about them until they are brought to our attention. Case in point: apparently with every bite of food I take, I tap the utensil thrice (not once, not twice… but thrice…you saw that coming right?) before bringing it to my mouth. I was completely oblivious to this fact until my very astute boyfriend brought it to my attention. I caught myself doing it and realized it was a subconscious effort to keep any droplets or loose food from falling off my utensil while on its way up to my pie hole.

Some may find that endearing while others may want to stab themselves in the eye with a rusty fork; to each his own.

Quirky habit of my boyfriend which I find completely hysterical and endearing at the same time is watching him flip out when he sees someone lick their fingers before separating the plastic grocery bags or better yet when the food prep person licks their fingers to separate the sheets before placing a sandwich on it. He completely loses his mind, looks me straight in the eye and says, ‘why don’t they just spit directly on my food, it’s the same God damn thing’….only this goes on for about 10 minutes as I try to hold back my laughter and sympathize at the same time. He has an excellent point it just doesn’t bother me the same way.

plastic bag

Have a nice day? Not if you lick your fingers before touching my grocery bag!

This post is in response to the prompt of the day:

Quirk of Habit

Which quirky habit annoys you the most, and what quirky habit do you love — in yourself, or others

Food Porn (?)

Posted on February 17, 2016 by simplygiselle

Food Porn (that’s what the kids call it, right?)

Without knowing the actual definition of ‘food porn’ I will take a stab and say it is when we see food that is so orgasmic we drool just by looking at it in a very Homer-Simpson-drooling sort of way.

Several years ago I made my first trip to Montreal with Goose by my side and sitting at an outdoor café, I ordered what sounded so delicious I wonder why it isn’t more popular…

French-fries (yes please and keep them coming), braised short ribs (melt in your mouth with the perfect seasoning), drizzled in the short rib gravy and topped with curds. Yes the Little Miss Muffet curds sans whey. *Side note: curds are a by-product when producing cheese. This blog is so educational, right?!

For the rest of my trip, and every time I go to Montreal or Quebec City, I have daily poutine intake.

This has put me on a quest to find a similarly fantastic tasting poutine in the States. When it is on the menu I order it to see how close they get. Typically I find they are drowning in gravy and lacking the meat or they use a very bland curd.

Now although this picture does not relate to a visual food porn, you have to believe me when I say, it tasted that good. Even more surprisingly I found it at a chain restaurant! Now let’s not get crazy, it wasn’t nearly as good as what I find in Canada but it was close.

And the search shall continue!

Goldie Locks, Get the hell out of my bed!

Posted on January 14, 2016 by simplygiselle

Who’s booze was left behind on the window sill of my hotel room?

Words you just don’t want to utter while on a getaway.

Here is the story: I planned a three-day ski getaway using LivingSocial. I had not had any issues with them thus far, but this was my first time using them for a ‘getaway’.

My first mistake: I throughout one of my own most important rules: due extensive online research through several different websites for every possible customer review -a mistake I will never make again.

I am by no means a high maintenance person when it comes to travelling. I am one of those types of people that does not want to spend money on the room when the only time I am there is to sleep. That being said, I do require that I am safe, have electricity and hot water, and the room is clean. Pretty simple really.

I started to question my choice when upon arrival found the parking lot (and pathway leading up to the stairs) was just a thick sheet of ice that had not been sanded or salted.

Entering the lobby my nose refused to do its part; take in oxygen. One small inhale of the mold, mildew and stench would compromise an otherwise healthy ability to smell.

The room itself had the potential to smell just as bad (I wouldn’t no I was still mouth-breathing at this point), the connecting room had a peep hole looking into my room (um….), the lamp had a shade missing (now THAT’s a party!), and the bed and pillows looked like someone just rolled out of it (no I cannot say if the bed was actually still warm, I refused to touch it).

So no. No I will not be staying in your establishment because I require oxygen and a clean environment. I didn’t even bother to ask for another room for it was clear that there were not be a suitable place in all of the building.

We packed up (I was more than happy to relinquish the full prepaid cost of the two night stay) and moved next door to another hotel. One that was clean, allowed me to breath, and I did not have to wake Goldie Locks from her slumber in order to sleep in a bed.