Tag Archives: venting

Ambitchous….

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There is a fine line between a woman ‘standing up for herself’ and being a ‘bitch’. I have yet to find that line but I am sure it exists; more often than not, I get the ‘bitch’ label. For those of you that have said it to my face (on many occasions), you can agree that my response has always been, and will always be: stop kissing up.

I have to say that my super-cranky reaction to a situation is just that; a reaction. I am by no means searching out scenarios in which to wield my highly explosive intolerance for stupidity.

The first (and most repetitive interaction) typically involves me waiting in line and getting cut off, as though I have hit my ‘stealth button’ and instantly became invisible. The millisecond response from me is always an unwaivering, ‘are you kidding me?!”  For some reason that seems to startle the offender and wakes them up to the fact that they are no longer on their lonely planet of “I” and must abide by the simple rules of society and it’s strongly recommended guidelines of ‘wait your friggin turn’.

There are times where adults are not pointing out their children’s misbehaving and I have to take things into my own hands. Example: at a college open house for Goose, potential students (17-18 yrs) and their parents are sitting in an amphitheater getting the background on the school and what they offer, finances, etc. and the three young miscreants with their mother were talking loudly and laughing throughout the whole seminar. It was not until the continuously full-blown kicking of my chair, did I spin my head faster than Regan from the Exorcist, and gave my, “are you kidding me??!!” to which the young men horrified, stood up and said they would wait outside. Good call because next comes the pea soup vomit while talking in tongues and no one wants that.

Other times, a good friend needs to have that certain someone on their side, that friend with a bit more bravado then they do. So… while in a Chinese restaurant with my friend (we will call her Shrink because she is one) and her boyfriend were sitting at a crowded bar, I hear a woman complaining to her boyfriend that Shrink is being loud and obnoxious. Really? We are sitting three people away in a packed bar and the only voice you can hear is Shrink laughing and telling stories. Hold the phone and call Oscar Goldman because a new Jaime Sommers is in town! (that’s a late 70’s reference for you kiddos) but I digress. I walked over to her and called her out on it, citing the fact that it’s a loud bar and there is no way she should be calling my friend names without provocation. As she turned to her boyfriend and started to curse about me, I kindly noted that I was not using profanity in any way and name calling wasn’t necessary… just apologize to my friend. The boyfriend stood up (a good 6 inches taller than me) and became aggressive to which I stood my ground and said that he was not part of the conversation, I was talking to his foul mouthed girlfriend. He then called me a bitch (yes I had to say, stop kissing up, it’s a natural reaction) and then he poked me in the shoulder a few times. I nicely reminded him that unwanted poking is considered assault and that seemed to warrant him screaming me a few other choice words but stopped the poking. No better way to show your pea-sized brain than to scream profanities; boring, yawn, over it.

So you see, I have been mislabeled and misunderstood my whole life. I will not be walked on or overlooked. I demand as much space in this world as the big jerks that seem to be taking over.

(P.S. if you know to whom I owe credit for this awesome intro picture please let me know!)

Army Ranger and so much more

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philip

It is with great displeasure that I write this post. What I wouldn’t give to have my brother back these 30+ years. To see whom he would have married, his children, his choices in life. But instead he chose one of the most unselfish ways to spend his short time here among us, he joined the Army and became an elite Ranger. Consequently he was killed during the second wave in a very small town, on a very small Caribbean island called Grenada, giving coverage to many American medical students forced to return home during a hostile political event.

A devastating time for my parents; to be told you will never see your child again, to never say good bye one last time, to say I Love You one last time. It’s one of those things we take for granted I think, saying I love you, taking for granted you will see or talk to the person tomorrow and remember ‘next time we talk’. Even saying it in passing is great to hear, but not quite the same as if you knew it would be the very last time…the very last time… heart breaking, devastating, it goes beyond that. There is just no word for the amount of empty left behind.

He was just a great person, not because he is no longer here and fond memories can sometimes overshadow the bad times, he was truly one of those people who would go out of his way for you to make sure you were happy, to help if he could, a kind and gentle soul and so very funny. He loved music, was artistic, and put up with his kid sister always tagging along when he just wanted to hang with his friends.

Ah, his friends, they were bountiful and from so many different crowds; neighborhood, school, church, sports, he fit into all the groups with ease because there were so many different levels of him to love. I could go on for pages giving him accolades, and all would be true, but I won’t.

Recently I have been given the opportunity to have him, and his unit, honored for years to come as I have been requested to submit his picture (shown above) to the National Museum, United States Army for a permanent exhibit in their halls. How proud we of him, how much we miss him every day, how I would give anything to change that day and have him back.

#MemorialDay

Today’s Hero

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To all the media: STOP, just please stop dishonoring and degrading the thought and spirit behind what a true HERO deserves; someone with the courage and selflessness for others.

A sports newscaster said this morning that the ‘hero’ of the night was “insert athlete name here” (because really, does it make a difference?).

Given today’s struggles and daily violence I am fed up beyond comprehension how the word ‘hero’ is continuously used so nonchalantly. It’s a sporting event. He hit the ball, got it in the hoop, made the touch down, did what his million dollar paycheck required to win a game. A GAME! No one’s lives were saved, it is that simple. Would his teammates consider him the ‘hero’ for winning the game? Probably, but even that goes beyond suitable recognition and thus, the overuse of the word.

There are so many other superlatives that would be much more suitable without marring the word ‘hero’. He was certainly the man-of-the-hour, the saving grace of the game, the MVP of the evening, but let’s reserve the word HERO for those it really applies to and gain back some of the respect it deserves.

Let’s save the word HERO for – the first responders in your town that have no idea what they are up against when the bells go off at 2:00 am and they jump in the truck. It could be a shooting to contain, victims in a burning home that need to be carried out safely, or a young person suicide, whose face will haunt them for years to come…

For the catastrophe workers who load up and run to a natural disaster at a moment’s notice leaving family, friends and their own lives behind with only the one goal of saving as many men, women and children as possible. The diseases that they face due to lack of hygiene and clean water as evident in the Nepal and Haiti earthquakes, the hurricane in Katrina and the tsunamis in Japan and Phuket.   They do not have special treatment, they do not and live out of a four-star hotel…they volunteer and sacrifice to live like the people they are helping with lack of food, lack of water, no bathroom facilities, and very little rest in a make shift tent…

For those everyday people who woke up with the intension of ‘just making it through a day at work’ only then find themselves running into harm’s way to extract a driver or passenger in a burning vehicle… a teacher who wants to make a difference, for the positive, in just one student’s life, but is faced with a gunman randomly ready to shoot any and every one, but he/she steps up and thwarts the evil plan…

These actions (and so many more) are the definition of HERO and deserve all the praise that accompanies it. Let’s remember that.

Every day is a second chance

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 umbrella

Every day is a second chance, but unless you know what you missed or what you should have changed, the second chance will be for naught…so keep your eyes and mind open. 

I was well aware of this oversight two days ago. As I was pulling out of the parking lot at the super market, a young lady was standing in the very cold rain (about 38 degrees F) in just a hoodie, tshirt, and jeans, holding a sign asking for money for food. My initial reaction was, – what luck I actually have some change on me this time! As I handed it out the window and apologized that it was only about two dollars in change, she thanked me, and blessed me, but I still had a nagging sensation; an invisible someone giving me the dipshit slap in the back of the head.

It wasn’t until I drove away onto the highway that I realized if I stopped for just a moment to observe the situation as a whole, I could have given her my umbrella (IDIOT!!). I kicked myself the whole way home and it is still eating away at me several days later. There are few things worse than being cold, wet, tired, and hungry all at the same time and I know the feeling, which makes me feel worse.

I was hoping by sharing this incident it would be somewhat cathartic but to no avail and just wishful thinking.

I will just have to believe that ‘every day is a second chance’ and prove to myself that I am a much better person that just handing over change to solve a much more profound request.

 

Keep it healthy and try going vertical

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keepcalm

I will preface this post by stating, I am 49 yrs old. (WOW! Hold on… when I say it aloud it makes me a bit dizzy!) I am sharing that information because if you choose to read on, it impacts the content. I am not 20 or 30 where one’s metabolism is higher and exercise comes a bit easier… ok, now continue…

Healthier living can sometimes lead to the domino effect… one healthy swap of double veggie instead of fries with the meal is an excellent example. Water or club soda instead of regular soda or even worse, diet soda, just a few times a day has a huge impact on your sugar, calorie, and chemical intake.

At first you may think, “it’s just one meal, seriously how much can that impact my weight or attitude toward eating and food?” but it does. Your body does not want to be filled with chemicals (yes you are taking in chemicals daily, stop it!) or too much food. It was built to run at an optimum weight with a specific fuel intake, just as any amazing machine or engine does. Your automobile will run much better on high octane fuel than the very low octane fuel option. It will take several tankfuls to notice but it does indeed happen. The same idea can be said for your body. Fueling it with ‘high octane’ and healthy choice foods will allow it to run more effectively and more efficiently.

One of my mantras — if I don’t buy it, I won’t eat it. Trust me when I say this wasn’t easy for me either. Years ago I would stand in the cookie aisle and just stare at the Oreos (or ice cream pie) remembering their chocolatey goodness and devouring half a package without much thought (not in the aisle at the store, although the thought had occurred to me on more than one occasion). Present day, if I had one, it one be just that, just one. I don’t miss them and they are much too sweet. But how did I stop eating them? I stopped buying them; what a concept! What quenches my desire for chocolate these days without eating three pounds of it? Dark chocolate; not the high sugar content dark chocolate (typically distributed in the US) but something along the lines of Lindt chocolate. One or two bites and it satisfies the craving without packing on the high doses of poorly constructed chocolate.

As one small healthy choice will lead to another… you may become more aware of what you eat, how you feel, and take a second look at unhealthy foods and the price tag that comes with it. “Do I want to trade that delicious spinach/cheese/artichoke dip for an extra 2 miles walk?” “Do I really need 3 glasses of wine instead of 2? Tastes delicious now but my sleep will pay dearly for it”… It takes 3500 calories to burn off one pound of weight. EEK! Food will slowly start to become equated with exercise or other trade-offs without much forethought with that figure lingering in your head.

A body in motion stays in motion. I have started to be much more consistent with exercise this last month or so and in doing so I found it somewhat shocking that after a workout, even though I was exhausted, an hour later I didn’t want to just sit down, I wanted to keep moving in some way. I wouldn’t categorize it as having ‘more’ energy as some people do, but I did recognize that I didn’t want to just sit and watch television. It usually ended with the thought of, well guess I will do some chores that I absolutely hate (scrubbing the bathtub is always last on the list). This didn’t happen at first. At first all I wanted was to lay down, catch my breath, pray I would not be too sore to move the next day, and ultimately nap. It was a solid week and a half of exercising before I felt comfortable with it and then moved onto the ‘staying in motion’ feeling.

Looking forward to the ‘sore’. I have had to ramp up my workouts just so I can get that ‘sore’ feeling back. A feeling of- I’m not sure if I can walk let alone hold a spoon- may be alarming at first, but then I started looking forward to it because I knew it found a new muscle group that was in hiding. Simply using the treadmill (notice I didn’t say running, because I hate running, all I do is a fast paced walk and use the incline for more calorie burn), using the stair climber, or the yoga sessions plateaued and I needed to tweak it up. I needed to know I was testing and pushing my body to a different level. I didn’t want anything too extreme (I am looking at you CrossFit) but something to change things up to my weekly routine.

If you are already an avid fan of exercise, try something new. Bring your workout vertical! So here is your laugh of the day, pole exercise. It is not dancing, there are no sexy moves, it is using the pole as an instrument against your body and gravity to pull yourself vertical or push yourself horizontal against the pole. Not many forms of exercise will have you using a vertical plane and a multitude of different muscle groups, especially the tiny ones you didn’t know you had. Running, planking, weight training, all great exercise but they continue to use the typical horizontal plane that we all exist on. Start thinking pole exercise and aerial silks to change things up. Adding the new dimension of vertical against gravity in addition to requiring the extra balance (and being off the ground) is a whole new challenge you will welcome to your exercise routine.

sleeping
(imgbuddy.com/homersimpson)

A better night sleep. Who doesn’t want that? Once you take that first step to a healthier you, sleeping through the night can be a long lost welcomed friend. Walk up and down the stairs of your house a few times, around your house or yard, up and down the street, start small so you don’t become overwhelmed and give up with an unattainable goal. Don’t be afraid to push yourself that extra 5 steps because they will add up quickly and before you know it, you will want more; one step more is one step more.

Challenge yourself, not against others. Coming in last place means you were in the race! (metaphorically speaking) Just keep moving, that is the key to all this. The eating healthy and constant moving works hand in hand. You will find you won’t want to do just one or the other, they actually feed off each another and it becomes effortless; just be patient, give it time.

It is not easy, that is a given, but the rewards are huge. Will you live forever? Nope. But for those remaining years, you will definitely feel much better and more than likely, cut down on many diseases and health problems by doing so. The endorphins will rise to keep you feeling happier and make the tough times not so tough.

Keeping weight off is much easier than losing it. If this old body can do it, I know YOU can too!

Hurry up already

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She was very anxious, to the point of losing sleep.

Why hadn’t she received the phone call? Was it something she said? Did the meeting not go well?

She answered all the questions in detail and with a smile that even shown in her eyes. She was confident but not conceited and more than qualified for the position. There did not seem to be any holes in the conversation; everything flowed well and as she glanced around the room, noticed a smirk here and there from her light hearted jokes.

But the call! Where was the call to change her life? To catapult her to the next level in her career? To somewhat secure her future and retirement (because nothing is 100%)!

The anxiety was starting to seep into her daily life and affect others. The short snappy answers, the quick to be defensive for no reason…. When will the phone ring with the offer! How much more of this can she possibly take?!! ARGH!!….. ring ring…. And all was right in the world……

 

Easy Fix

Write a post about any topic you wish, but make sure it ends with “And all was right in the world.”

Let Freedom Ring!

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One thing to be said about living in Massachusetts, most of the time the bleeding heart’s win and sometimes they lose – and when they lose in a big way, I want to sing the National Anthem until everyone’s ears bleed!

The Board of Health in the sleepy little town of Westminster, MA (more trees and deer than people = sleepy) tried to ban tobacco in town. Apparently the Board members have not heard of the Boston Tea Party where people get mighty ticked when you mess with their rights as citizens.

Nearly 500 people packed a hearing at a local elementary school on Wednesday night held by the three members of the Board of Health. Passions ran high, and the hearing became so unruly that the board chairwoman could not maintain order; she shut down the hearing 20 minutes after it began.

The crowd started singing “God Bless America” in protest as the board members left under police protection. Angry residents circulated petitions demanding a recall election for the board members.

Tobacco is not illegal and trying to ban it from town, thereby forcing its tobacco users to buy in the adjacent town, simply takes money (and according to recent studies more than just a few pennies, try one third of their revenue on the whole!) out of the local retailer’s thinly lined pocket.

Roughly 15% of the town’s populations (as of last week) have signed a petition to stop the madness with only 17% of the townspeople admitting they use tobacco products. Even the town selectmen have voted unanimously to oppose the ban!

Here is what one towns person had to say:

“They’re just taking away everyday freedoms, little by little,” said Nate Johnson, 32, an egg farmer who also works in an auto body shop, as he stood outside the store last week. “This isn’t about tobacco, it’s about control,” he said.

Is it unhealthy? Science has proven it time and time again, yes it most certainly is. Is it proactive to try to keep the youth from lighting up and creating more health care financial burden on the future citizens? Yes, that is true too.

But the Board of Health has completely overstepped their boundaries and even stated that they have a moral obligation to try to stop the young people from smoking. Really? Since when? Is Westminster now a dictatorship with the Board of Health presiding?

I am not for tobacco products, I have my own vice; wine. And if I lived during prohibition times I would set up a speakeasy in my cellar, secret entrance word and all.

So to the smokers and townspeople in Westminster, MA I say – –

LET FREEDOM RING!

 

this is just one of the many articles you can find online about this subject but is being cited as to where I was fired up enough to write about it and lifted some of Ms. Seelye’s info.   http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/disgusted-by-smoking-outraged-by-a-plan-to-ban-tobacco/ar-BBejwhZ?ocid=mailsignout

Press 1 for English

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Welcome to Venting Vendredi – pull up a seat…

At some point during this past week, I read a blog that addressed the American’s distain for having to press 1 for English. She was very accurate in pointing out the U.S. does not have an official language, that is 100% true.

So where does that leave us? Very frustrated.

I would hazard a guess that all the fuss and complaining about calling a company and being greeted by the prompt – press 1 for English -may have has something to do with the fact that the only other language presented in the prompt is Spanish – seems a little biased don’t you think?

If society wants us to believe that the U.S. is a melting pot (to co-exist, to welcome diversity) that should accommodate all races, than you have to actually accommodate them, otherwise it is prejudiced (some may say racist) resulting in (wait for it…) pissing off a whole lot of people. English is not the official language, nor is Spanish. The government, the companies, society, etc. do not have the right to cherry-pick two languages to represent the country as a whole.

Do the hundreds of thousands of people on the Mexican border, throughout southern California, parts of Florida and many other areas with a heavily populated Spanish/Latino culture justify Spanish as the second language choice? The northern border counts too. Drive through parts of Vermont, Maine, and New Hampshire and you will see signs in both English and French. Visit the Ogunquit shore in the summer and you will be surrounded by both vacationers and residents speaking French.

What about Chinatown in Boston, New York, Chicago and elsewhere? They don’t count either?

THAT’S why people get pissed. Because offering only one other choice is insulting to all the other races and cultures in the country.

How can you accommodate all the other languages? How about using the dial pad to spell out the language you wish to use? Companies use this type of system all the time. “If you know the last name of the party you wish to be connected to, please dial the first four letters of their name…” There has to be more than just Rosetta that has multilingual software to help the caller get to a person to assist them.

Let’s get some smarty-pants MIT students on this pronto!